HAPPY BIRTHDAY EGGBEATER!
I'M 2 YEARS OLD!
once upon a time there was a shuna,
she liked eggbeaters
and had a small collection of them...
... shuna dreamt ~
You have a blog. You don't know what the word means, but you have one. The Internet is new to you. Even though it's 2005. Computers, you think, are really nifty. You answer all emails as soon as they come in. You acquired your first computer at age 36.
{when you were in grade school you could be expelled for having one of those watches that had a calculator in it. no matter, you preferred long hand anyway.}
People read your blog. You think they're all people you know because the vastness of the Internet is a foreign concept. You forget that the word world means the whole world even though you do in fact know that www stands for the world wide web.
You borrow a digital camera. Although your only degree from college is a BFA in photography you feel lost with this tiny silver rectangle that fits in your front trouser pocket. You do not know what a pixel is. You snap a few pictures. Someone nicely emails you to tell you your white balance is off. You don't know what this means but you are flattered by his sweet generosity and thank him politely, inserting that you have no idea what he's talking about. (It's 2 years later and still this is basically a foreign concept.)
The picture is up on the blog in seconds after taking it!!! You cannot believe it! Faster than a Polaroid, able to leap tall technological fears in a single bound.
You're hooked. You take a lot of pictures, not many of them as good as the ones you took with your favorite Nikon FG film camera. You've had that camera since High School and you can't bear to part with it. You can't bear the thought that your camera friend is, and here's where the tears roll down the cheeks, obsolete.
You want to write on the blog every day.
Even though you don't know how to type.
Even though you're taking care of someone who's dying. Even though you think people want to hear only happy things about food. Even though what you sometimes love is the minutiae of food and fruit and
ingredients. You think no one but you cares about such things.
You start to get comments. You assume they are all people who
know you. One day you invite someone to come to one of your classes and she tells you she resides in Japan. It finally dawns on you that you don't know everyone who is reading your blog. One day someone shows you "how to check your traffic" and you see that about 50 people find you a day. You see that most of them are lost, and only stay for a few seconds.
But you're excited anyway. That same gentleman who told you your white balance was off reminds you to be patient. That all will come in time. He even walks you through the steps of leaving a comment on his blog. Everything feels revelatory.
One day you have the bright idea of printing t shirts. You have a friend who has a silk-screening business. You feel awkward doing shameless self-promotion, but it's all in the name of an Old School Tool and that feels satisfying in a silly, Luddite-inspired way. Technology is alright, you relent.
Many things happen while you have your blog. First you make some great friends. They are sweet and silly and encouraging and you cannot believe it-- that these Internet folks are not only real but they are all so nice! (You come from an industry where people are quite cut-throat.) You guys organize food blogger events. One day a spear-heading sort of gentlewoman starts a project called Food Blog S'cool because you are so inept with computer stuff she feel inspired to rally to help you and others like you!
The blog buoys you. Literally, figuratively.
You write no matter what. You find joy and light in the corners. You are so inspired to photograph everything you can hardly believe it. (Taking pix with film was getting to be so expensive a habit, you felt you had to kick it.)
Life gets very hard. Your person is at the end of her life and you don't know how you can go on.
But somehow you do go on. People rally for you and you feel it coming through the computer.
Strange but true.
When you think things can't get any more surreal, you take a job at Apple. No one believes that YOU could possibly be working for Apple computer, so they ask you,
"O, hmmm you're working at an apple store downtown? What kind of apples are you selling?"
{You're so proud of yourself for thinking of this:} "Just MacIntoshes."
You begin to really learn about computers, and you can't believe it: but it's deliciously exciting.
And then, of course, you get the Grand discount and buy the computer of your dreams. It makes everything pretty. You like it very much. It makes you feel all glittery.
Life takes many twists and turns. You go down many paths without a light to guide you. The darkness arrives with grief so obliterating you just hold on and try to keep on. The first year is brutal, but you make it. It seems a strange thing to address on your food blog, grief, but when you do it helps.
The readers even like your p o e t r y !
One day you feel you're ready to head back to baking. You begin to bake, then teach, and you even get the wild hare to go to a blogging conference deep in Silicon Valley! You don't know you're going to do it but you speak emotionally about How Blogging Has Changed Your Life on a microphone in front of 1000 strangers. Someone interviews you and you get to link to your Very Own First Podcast on your blog. You're as excited as a child going to her first circus with real elephants.
The Eggbeater has helped you to write for KQED, and now you're writing your first article for a real paper magazine, Edible San Francisco. Finally, a place to write about all your favorite fruits, in minute detail.
Two years later you look back and see the road, but still you can't believe that you're here.
You're utterly grateful that she was able to read a few things you wrote before she died. She passed on her writing to you and even gave you her blessing to continue. In her true spirit she even thought of a book & title before she died! Her humour, her love, the irony; are never lost on you.
Thank you for taking me here.
Thank you for reading, commenting, disagreeing, inspiring, fighting, loving, laughing, looking, following, crying, watching, pinching, nibbling, drinking, biting, supporting, embracing, sharing, and telling me your stories too.
eggbeater would like to dedicate it's 2 year old birthday to Susan Gordon Lydon, Isaac and Laura Trent.
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