I know some of you want to know the 411 on The Place.
The thing is this: I'm sure you'll know eventually, the Bay Area is a small town, but I'm worried since my last relationship created some fairly mean comments about me and that restaurant (to me directly and on Eater SF) because the departure was so sudden and murky (remember that the only 3 people who know the facts are those who sat in that room that day, and I'm one of them.) While I agree everyone has a right to their opinions about me, my desserts, who I am professionally, both pro and con or indifferent, I don't want people to hate or love this new place based solely on me and my concoctions being there. I am not this place; not a parent or even a live-in nanny, just a baby sitter. I am not waking up at 2 and four am to feed this restaurant baby, no.
not like last time.
/Here, I am just a consultant.
[Also I have this nagging question. Should a restaurant who hires a consultant be allowed to use said person's name even if that consultant isn't there day and night like the rest of the crew? I asked this question directly to another pastry chef consultant recently and she said she left it up to the client.]
What do you think? Is it false advertising? How much does it matter if I say the name of my new gig(s) on eggbeater? Can you be OK with the fact that I am a roving pastry chef or does my identity have to be defined by the One name above my name on my white jacket?
For the record: I never told anyone not to continue to frequent my last place of employment. I never lied about any of the details concerning my departure. I stated a fact, a fact that was told to me on the last day I baked in that kitchen.
I never said I loved all my desserts equally and I never said I, or my plates, was the greatest anything. I never talked smack about those I worked with and for at my last job. I didn't play the blame game and say it was all about them and I was innocent.
Eggbeater is written by me, Shuna, so of course I can only bring you my side. I can only tell you what I heard, show you what I saw, explain what I knew and now know. Tell you how I feel. All relationships, and divorces, are complicated affairs. Sure I'm angry, confused, saddened, feel betrayed-- I'm not a rock without a heart. I poured all of me into that place for 6 months, and I was willing to see it make at least a one year anniversary. Breakups are hard but I'm neither a pile of tears in a dark room, nor am I lobotomized Klonopin-infused pollyanna with not an ounce of resentment in my almost 40 year old body. I'm hurt, I'm angry, and yes, I'll get through it and then one day I'll be "over it" and have a lot more perspective and be grateful they cut me when they did. (ps bloggers & chefs are human too.)
I use eggbeater to process, to figure out, to make sense on the seemingly nonsensical. I know this scares a lot of people-- my own rawness, my ability to write about this industry with passionate love, despondent sadness, critical thinking and hyper happiness. I bring you a voice from the inside and it's not always pretty or easily digestible. You can continue to hate me because you don't think my desserts are anything to speak of let alone blog about. You can hate me because I'm too loud, too sensitive, too strong, too in-your-face, too conceited, too passionate, too humble, too mean, too emotional, too whiny, too skinny, too militant, too ______________ fill in the blank. You can also choose to refrain from reading eggbeater.
I'm attempting to write my industry down. It's not stagnant, it's not still, it's not one thing. It's big, complicated and amazing. If I don't write it down, sketch it as it moves across the page, you might believe TV and there might be a continued trend to ignore the whos making our food we're supposedly so concerned about.
It's complicated, I realize this. And with complexity comes fear and misunderstanding and tears and annoyances both small and grand. In every story, characters, and every character has a version.
So, again, my question to you is this:
How much does it matter if I say the name of my new gig(s) on eggbeater? What are, in your opinion, the pros and cons of such a declaration?
As you can see, I am moderating comments these days. Feel free to comment anonymously. I will accept all opinions, all ideas, all possibilities except those meant to attack, or imply attack--- me or anyone else.
For some comparison:
A few other professional cook written blogs-- some of which choose to be anonymous about themselves, their places of employment, their names and locations, some have no "restaurant home" at all, some tell us everything, some who only let you pull the curtain aside with one hand ~