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« San Francisco Health Care Initiative "Surcharges" | Main | Dynamo Donuts, San Francisco. Just Opened! »

22 July 2008

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"wanna see my meat walk-in?"

...fantastic.

Way. too. damn. funny.

the brown butter line is my fave...possibly tied with the slow cooked protein line haha

brilliant

this is from a male perspective, so deal...(like you haven't had plenty of it I'm sure)

Any big chef: "How you doin? wanna get a whopper?"

Any short chef: "Do you looove my faux hawk? I will keel you..with love!"

Southern chef: "Y'all like beef?"

New York Chef in Texas: "You all Like beef - ay! I'm talkin to the both of yuz!"

Bobby Flay: " Are you KIDDING ME? Look at me! I can grill your feet! Look at my nipples! That shirt would look better with a roasted red pepper vinaigrette on it. I make it in a blender. On a roof. You have awesome technique."

Christopher Walken as a chef: "I got a FEVAH.. and the only pahSCRIPRTion... is you...makin me eggs in... the morning".

Michael Ruhlman: "Why yes, it WAS me playing keyboards for JOURNEY in 1982. Didn't my hair look AWESOME?! We can go back to my place and you can touch it - put this cheesecloth over your hands."

Borat Chef: "I would like to have the sexual with you - meet my sister, she is one with camera"

Bourdain: "I can eat anything that you can put out"

Mine...

I'm not ready to let go of mine just yet.

One of my favorites, was from the movie Stranger Than Fiction. Not really a pick up line though. He met her (a baker he was just starting to date) late one night after closing and said 'I bought you some flowers'. He handed her an open box, and it was filled with little packets of different flours.

I giggle and go awww every time I see that part.

Open to suggestions? I don't think you need any. What's funny about these - almost all of them sound like you. But, you know, so many different parts of you ...

"Can I call you up again after midnight?"

*shudder
ive actually said this

Richie! You get a big shiny gold star from me for letting us in on your little secret. xo ~ Shuna

that was HILARIOUS! i love it! shared this with a friend and she couldn't stop laughing!

Oh man, that's great and the comments are giving me the giggles.

I have one, but thought of one while I was reading the comments. "Wanna do me for lunch?"

The one I have is too old, but it's mine and I owns it. "Hey baby, fries come with that shake?"

Cheers

Guy! These are apt and HILARIOUS! I am adding them to the post Right Now!! Thank you my delicious meat Angel. xo ~ Shuna

Those are great! And I love Vincent Mack's too. Chef humor! Who knew?

Wanna go for a ride in my Robot Coupe?

My favorite:

"Looks like you need a little extra seasoning in your life. I got the right kinds of salt."

Salacious *and* funny. Just my style.

My chef said I should use this one:

"Dinner tastes better at my place."

"Order fire, two shots of tequilla and your phone number."

OH SNAP!
This is hysterical:

Wanna get together on my next day off, next month?

My last sous chef and I were like brother and sister (read: no sexual energy) and when things would get intense during service, he would ask me kind of quietly, "wanna make out?" and we would both die laughing and try not to die from service.

Needless to say, the newer servers working expo never got it.

Well, I was gonna post "Can I have some fries with that shake?" but someone beat me to it...like this phrasing better, though. And my wife says everything tastes better with brown butter on it, so that one is my fave of the original bunch.

That scene in Stranger Than Fiction was the best!

What about??

For the ladies...

Are you happy to see me or is that a pepper grinder in your pants?

Or, for the fellas...

Wanna make like chocolate and melt in my mouth?


Or for everyone...

I have a awesome bananna split recipe we could try together...

Biggles is priceless: such a guy approach.
(Whooops--pun alert!)

And Christopher Walken? One of my favorites, so weird and wonderful.

I like "Meet me in the walk-in."

What better place for a quickie make-out session - dark, secluded. And it's easy enough to pretend you're looking for radishes if one of the line cooks walks in on you.

"Is it hot in here, or is it just the salamander, the grill, and the 18 burners? . . . or is it you?"

Anjanette! This is a Great one! So much can be done with it-- you have my mind racing. Thank you! ~ Shuna

"When are you gonna come by the restaurant and check out my biscuits?" I say this one regularly.

Rebecca, I'm glad I don't just objectify your biscuits, I know and love them. Every day of the week. ~ Shuna

Aw, thanks, Shuna! I'd love to read your variations.

Dana:

the lesbian oven cook at my work asks me to make out all the time. after I saw batman, I asked her if she wanted to see my "Robin."

I'm a fan of farmer's market one-liners:
"Should we go fondle some Early Girls?"
"Can I Dapple your Dandy?"
Standing in front of Hog Island:
"Me or a Kumamoto- you decide."

Hey Now! I just came across your website and couldn't stop laughing!

"Oooooh the insides of your arms are so smooth."

reminds me of the time a chef i used to work for was talking about the crazy women at bars who get wet when they find out what he does...

"you gotta question their sanity....i mean, 'ooh, your hands are so rough and you're never around! i get so hot when you ignore me to work on your prep list.'"

I'm a baker and I like, "Want to nibble my cookies?"

Wanna juggle my peaches?

"Love of you is mixed deep in my vitals,
like water stirred into flour for bread."

-- anonymous Egyptian poet, 11th-12th c. B.C.

Ha! Love the Ruhlman quote!

"That chef jacket would look better on my apartment floor" ;)

So funny! that's the first time I've seen chef pick up lines...
:)

Here are more (regular) pick up lines, Curtesy of Funny Pick Up Lines:

Are you smoking? (No!) Oh, yes you are!
Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
You've been a bad girl. Go to my room.
I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
You look like my third wife! (How many have you had?) Two.
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street.
Was your father an alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out.

:)

Great post and comments! I can't say this one ever worked for me, but, Mmm, you taste so good I wanna deglaze your pan.

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