Pastry Chefs as Independent Contractors.

When people ask me what I do and I say I'm a pastry chef, they barely let me finish "...-ef," before asking, excitedly, "O Where?! Where do you work?"

It's taken me a long time to come up with something I can be proud of. A refrain, a response, an answer that satisfies them and me. To find it, I had to look under a lot of rocks.

"I'm 'At-Large.' Which is like being On The Lam, but different."

For some this means I am no one. For others, I am unemployed. Most people are just confused, or bemused. Some chefs are jealous, others feel sorry for me. Not having another name on my white jacket besides my own is, to other professional cooks, like having a sickness with few visible side affects. People want to walk away but they're not exactly sure why.

But at a certain time, whether it be age or one's own fork in road, a chef must reinvent. Butcher the rabbit differently so it comes out of the hat as fricassee maybe. Try something new. Do what one has always done, but with a slightly, or drastically, new perspective. One cannot make $12 an hour for the rest of one's life, especially not without health insurance.

                   As is the case with "cheating," many will argue the affair came before the break-up, but others will later admit the affair happened in order to induce a split.

What it means to be an independent contractor is not a definition I can write alone. Each person pieces together their living differently. Each person fashions a stage the way they envision themselves in their own play, or the way it happens naturally when they get hired here and there.

Who am I?

      Yeah, I might be answering that for the rest of my long legged life.

But right now, all of a sudden, it's become interesting.

This past Saturday I woke up @ 7 am and sold veggies with one of my favorite farmers at the Berkeley Farmers' Market from 8:30 am-1:15 pm. At 1:45 I got on a shuttle that took a number of front and back of house people to an event in Sonoma overlooking an expansive valley. I helped feed 300 people delicious food savoury and sweet, even getting my hands into the floury mess that is fritto misto fried to order. Mmmm squid tentacles and fennel! There were also warm canapes I "hot-boxed" in a rhythmic dance with 4 other cooks serving a total of @1800 tiny one bite tastes over the course of two hours.

I got home this morning just after midnight, went to sleep, or took a nap, depending on how you would view it, until 3:15 am and drove to SF alongside very few other vehicles, and helped make @ 600 yeasty donuts from 4:30 am until 9:30 this morning.

So you could say I was unemployed, if you still want to translate Pastry Chef Independent Contractor as such, but to me this is pretty busy, and using the word working as an action verb.

When it rains, it pours, and then floods.

It looks like I might be selling veggies, helping to feed thousands of people, and playing with Excel and donuts for the next few weeks. Four to be exact, in fact. And then something happens.

Another giant fork, a la Woody Allen's Sleeper, will arrive, {hopefully tines down!}, from an expansive sky. Me and Wall-E will explore and see what it's all about.

I do miss having one kitchen be my home. *But,

Consulting expands my mind, taps all my experiences and let's me help others clarify their visions and businesses. Teaching has innumerable rewards and challenges great and small. Catering is a fantastic way to work with dozens of amazing chefs and cooks I would never know if I stayed in one station, under the roof of one house, day after day. And Writing? Well writing is just plain wonderful. Words are as delicious as desserts and sentences can be savored every day without overindulging. Adjectives are a reason for living and grammar need not be mere dusty libraries or cane-bearing authoritarians. Photography was my least expected renewed love. A suspect of digital, I have now been converted, although of course I miss film and its sensual subtleties. But not the chemicals, its toxicity to me and everything else, and the grand expense.

When a cook runs head first into that random utensil poking out of her/his path, said cook may choose to rub head, get a beer and sit a while, staring at the fork they are trying to ignore or get around.

Or,

Said cook can grab a beer and sit down and stare at that giant fork; and attempt to see what else that fork's reflection can do with his/her tool kit of well worn knives and mastered crafts.

I don't know about you but I want to keep learning. I'd rather stay clear of my comfort zone for a spell to see what I can learn in the risky, challenge strewn, messy heartbreaking gravity-less foreign land that is barbed and mined with fear, fright, I-don't-know, "I can't," and all those other embarrassing and awkward bewildering moments.

O abyss of the unknown, take me unto you. I am yours. O Great Fork, please pick me up and pair me with the delicious next. I have salt in one pocket, and an open heart.

and p.s., I can trade you some hot and freshly glazed doughnuts.

{PPS: *Sometimes pastry chefs start their own sweet, and even savoury businesses too.} Just a few off the top of my head: Pierre Herme, Iacopo Falai, Claudia Fleming, Maury Rubin, Sara Spearin, Jacques Torres, Elizabeth Falkner, Pichet Ong, Rachel Leising, Sam Mason, Mary Canales, Chika Tillman, Heather Carlucci Rodriguez, Anne Walker, Francois Payard, Kelli Bernard... Who am I forgetting?

Comments

[Lorrie]

I'm dawdling at a career crossroad and I've lost my culinary mojo - your writing always serves as an inspiration and a reminder of the sentiment that 'if a path already exists, it belongs to someone else'. (I'm cringing at how inelegant that looks as words on a screen, but I can't recall the original!)

Thanks for sharing a glimpse of all that you do! :)

[aran]

it doesn't matter if you have a name on your jacket or not as long as you are happy with what you do and make enough money to live. We all have to eat, go to the doctor, think about our future, pay rent/mortgage... I was telling someone the other day that I started in this business with 2 college degrees and a masters making $9/hr and even at my highest level, which was managerial, I made $13/hr! Crazy business. So yes Shuna, do whatever you have to do. Call yourself independent contractor, freelancer, whatever, but you are a pastry chef in essence. I still call myself a pastry chef even though I don't make money from it. It's in my blood, my brain, my heart and my soul.

[Victoria]

I never know if you pierce my heart or fill it up. But, as always, your writing is bold and beautiful and absolutely exhilarating. Your independence is unmatched by those who start their own businesses. They just trade one boss for another, even if it is themselves.

[devon]

With the release of such powerful intentions as: "O Great Fork, please pick me up and pair me with the delicious next", you are in for some pretty amazing times ahead... WOOHOOOOOOO!!! =)

[mary b]

as usual, its like you are reading my mind,we are so"in the same place at the same time" that it some times blows my mind! I worked as a bartender last night,great tips,charming banter with the customers- a nice change of pace from the cooking grind! I might to it again-almost like a paid vacation. And best of all, I got to actually look like a girl!!!!!!!

[Evan Elliot]

With all due respect to adjectives, I think your nouns and verbs aren't bad, either: "Pair me with the delicious next." Dang!

Things do indeed sound interesting for you these days. Might be time to make peace with a bunch of slashes. Namely: pastry chef/consultant/cook/writer/teacher/photographer/vegetable seller. You can't help it if you're multi-talented.

[Athen]

I have nothing eloquent to say. I want to EAT one of those donuts!

Athen, One more reason to love you. xo ~ Shuna

[Tartelette]

You know I love this post, not only because I find myself in a similar position and also because when people ask "so what do you do?" I answer "well it depends what day"....but more so because I was able to email this to my dad who does not get the way I function. I tell him it's not because of the money or lack thereof but because to me it is just like breathing. Now with your words he might get it!!

[Dr. Biggles]

Hi!

Uh, just tell them you work at a glue factory, with no facial expression. The conversation will rarely go further.

Thank you for the totally bitchen photograph of the bridge at 4am, nicely done. I made a video once, while driving. I don't recommend that.

Biggles

[T.]

Hi, Shuna - just some kudos: You've been given an Arte y pico Award. Please check my blog for details!

[Amy Sherman]

I do like "stay at home pastry chef" though I suppose you rarely do! I would add that Japanese genius Sadaharu Aioki to your list.

[Rosebud]

I'm an adjunct professor, and while I have more freedom than tenure-track tied into departmental duties, I am also paid significantly less for a lot of work, so I can completely relate. But I would die if I did not teach Women's Studies and Literature. It is an ever-changing field, and my concentration, Women in the Middle East, especially needs positive images and authors. We do want me love, Shuna, I agree, but I too cannot believe sometimes how little financial compensation there is for what we do...and we're just talking living wages.

[Rosebud]

Btw, I've had people do the same thing to me-- looks of confusion-- when I tell them I don't want tenure.

[Warda]

Wishing you the best of freedom.

[Zoomie]

How about calling yourself a "Free Lance Pastry Artist?" The "artist" covers it for your pastry work, your photography and your writing! When asked where you work, give the name of your DBA. Most people don't want more than that. :-)

[kayenne]

At last, someone who understands where I am coming from. Although, yours does sounds more impressive. And maybe I should change "freelance" from my resume to "independent contractor". Sounds more... serious. Hereabouts, "freelance" is not a very respected word, and often met with a raised brow... or as you mention, a confused blank look.

Don't you just love the challenge of doing something new every few days/weeks? Of meeting diverse people, even having to bend to accommodate a certain client's quirks.

And I hope to have my name after that "pps" permanently soon!

[marcy goldman]

Hi - loved this blog and column.
I have the same problem when people ask what I do...am I a writer, website host, baker, pastry chef, consultant, teacher?
I've not yet figured out the right answer to make it short/sweet/interesting.
Like you - I do a bit of everything. Including....tango.
(but not with an apron on ...)