It's not every day you get an email whose Subject line reads, PIELEBRITY.
You say yes. Yes to Pielebrity status. Even it means eating more than your weight in pie, while attempting to judge... oy.
But you think to yourself, "Zow, that's Pielific. Muy Pietriguing."
You scratch your head and remember that a certain kooky friend of yours did, in fact, tell you about PIE OFF once, in a galaxy far far away, when he first appeared in your life.
But because PIE OFF never came to Pieition, you passed PIE OFF as Piesay.
Lucky for you, and you, and you and you and you and even YOU, yes YOU, over there, with your face to the wall--
Coming to the East Bay, California USA this
Sunday August 10th 2 - 9 pm.
Pie Mayhem, yo.
Think you can bake a pie?
Roll a mean crust?
Fire shoot from your fingertips as that rolling pin is guided by g-d? See voices and hear snakes when held by the power of flaky crustiness?
Press your suit. Shine your shoes. Find your phat laces. Pick out your 'fro. Floss. Paint your nails. Sharpen the straight razor and tilt your neck back extra. Get a few more winks. Do your push ups. Tighten those suspenders. Slowly garters into perfect thigh position. Tighten your belt. Take an extra swig. Splash on a lil' extra Bay Rum. Take all the time you need with black eyeliner. Stand up straight.
Because PIE OFF is a serious affair. Word.
I can only share a few details with you. If I share more I fear you may never see me again.
---->If you are serious about attending Sunday email me and I'll share the secret location...<---
the committee has issued an RFQ for judges. please direct any and all candidates to firstname.lastname@example.org
Two people (a team) may enter one pie. Teams or individuals may enter more than one pie.
FOR A FEW APPLES MORE: Fruit-based dessert pies only
Entries must arrive in a pie plate, at least 9 inches in diameter, and must have a bottom, homemade crust.
There are five kinds of pie in this world...
1. stone fruit (peach, nectarine, cherry, plum, apricot)
2. Tree fruit (apple, pear)
3. berry (strawberry, blueberry, cranberry)
4. Caneberry (raspberry, blackberry, boysenberry, marionberry)
5. citrus/tropical (lemon, key lime, banana, mango, etc.)
- two dollar entry fee per pie
- each pie must be accompanied by a placard, A PIE SERVER AND a completed entry form.
Pies will be judged on integrity of crust, creativity of filling, and overall effectiveness and tastiness of the entire baked good.
1st, 2nd & 3rd prizes will be awarded. Each participant will also be allowed to cast one bakers choice ballot.
* sunday, august 10 * doors open at 2pm * judging begins at 3:30pm *
kids cranky-time, sugar-crash, how-do-i-unstick-my-face-from-the-rug room open from 5:05 to 6:30pm
a word about multiple-fruit filling combinations...
"the combo rule is one of preponderance. bakers/teams are allowed to enter combo pies. the choice of category should be based on whichever fruit is the preponderant ingredient in the filling. if different fruits share equal representation in the filling, then bakers/teams are allowed to make a game-time decision, submitting their pie into one of the appropriate categories."
pie off does not provide any beverages or food other than pie. draw your own conclusions.
As you have no doubt heard, the Pie Off Steering Committee and International Sisterhood/ Brotherhood/ Sockpuppethood of Pie Bakers, Iron Ship Builders and Boilermakers, PIE-TCB have been embroiled in a summer-long dispute over banned substances appearing in award-winning filling throughout the ten-year lifespan of Pie Off, Pie Off East, and all related Pie Off events.
I am happy to report that these disputes and allegations have been resolved in their entirety, and thankfully without much media fanfare. And while I am not at liberty to discuss any settlement terms or amounts, suffice it to say that you will most likely see the value of gourds, tomatoes, and lamb suffer a rather steep decline in the coming months.
Pie Off 2008 specs and entry form attached.
************ NEEDED FORMS ***************
PIE ENTRY FORM PIE OFF 2008
Name of the Baker(s):
Name of the Pie:
Category (preponderant fruit in filling):
Describe your pie (list the ingredients that you feel
comfortable revealing to the public; explain your
inspiration, the history of the recipe, etc.):
Bring the ruckus.