in these final weeks of fine-tuning our recipes for the upcoming gala, it becomes necessary that we review some of the basic event parameters. in so doing, we provide competitors and spectators alike the appropriate amount of time to compose complaint letters, construct picket signs and so on.
as many of you know already, pie off adheres to a strict discipline of rules and regulations. we are nothing as a pie society if not civilized. and we gladly accept the rigid guidelines that govern us. for example, we understand that pies are made in a round pie plate, at least nine inches in diameter. we too recognize that pies, by definition, have a bottom homemade crust.
these are not matters for debate. as a civilized pie society, we revel in the celebration of a well-crafted, baked good. what is subject for reflection and clarification this year is the appropriate ingredients for pie filling. a bedrock principle of pie offs past has been fruit-based dessert pies only. no exceptions. ohhhhh, many a baker has fallen prey to these strictures in years past. wielders of rhubarb, chocolate, and sweet potato alike have all met the swift, uncompromising hand of disqualification.
but friends, it is a new day. and with the advent of pie off 2010 - winter x games we have reached a watershed moment in the event's evolution. and so, it is not without some reluctance that i announce, on behalf of the pie off steering committee, and its intercontinental advisory board, that this year, ALL manner of dessert pies may enter the pie off hall of champions.
...as you may imagine, the writing of this email has been as exhausting and boring as i am sure the reading of it has been. so i retire now to the kitchen, where many variations of crust and filling await my consideration. in time, more event details shall be revealed -- time, place, entry fee, security measures. but for now, we must rest. and plan.
dr. rainbow (for the pie off steering committee, p.o.s.c.)
pie off winter x games
december 4, 2010
Dear Pie Off Community,
Our chairperson Dr. Rainbow has asked us to release this year’s RFJ – Request for Judges. If you or someone you know would like to judge Pie Off Winter X Games, please take a moment to complete our brief Pie Judge Personality Inventory. Rate your answers on a scale of 1 (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree).
A Pie Off Steering Committee representative will be in touch with you regarding your answers. Thank you.
THE PIE OFF CORPORATION
Division of Pie Engineering
1. I have often had a friendly relationship with pie.
2. I like to read pie cookbooks.
3. Sometimes I dream about filling.
4. I believe I was a rolling pin in a past life.
5. My stomach hurts.
6. Cake makes me nervous.
7. I once ate an entire pie by myself.
8. Store-bought crust is delicious.
9. Sometimes strange men follow me.
10. I have never made a pie.
~ THE GATA