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27 May 2009

MONTEREY MARKET NEEDS YOUR HELP!! PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD

PLEASE MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD.
PLEASE go to Friends of Monterey Market and show your support/read about what you can do.
PLEASE WRITE A LETTER.
PLEASE DO NOT SHOP AT MONTEREY MARKET AFTER JUNE 3rd UNLESS BILL FUJIMOTO takes back his resignation.
PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD.
PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD THAT MONTEREY MARKET NEEDS EVERY ONE'S HELP to make it clear that Bill Fujimoto IS Monterey Market and his resignation is not an option.
PLEASE MAKE IT CLEAR TO THE ENTIRE FUJIMOTO FAMILY that you will not support a market that places its bottom line before family.
PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD.

If you have eaten ANYWHERE IN THE BAY AREA, you have supported Monterey Market.
If you have ever shopped at ANY FARMERS MARKET, you have supported Monterey Market.
If you have ever blogged about new fruit in season, new fruit available in the USA, climbed upon the great pumpkin interactive sculpture in North Berkeley, or made anything in any home kitchen or restaurant or catering kitchen with any fruit or vegetables, you have supported Monterey Market.
If you believe in farmers, chefs with integrity, great produce, eating seasonally, eating locally, supporting local business YOU BELIEVE IN SUPPORTING MONTEREY MARKET.
AND YOU WOULD CONSIDER SHOWING YOUR SUPPORT TO A MARKET, A TEMPLE, A STORE, AN INSTITUTION that was in need of help.

MONTEREY MARKET NEEDS YOUR HELP.
PLEASE BLOG ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW AND LET GOOGLE AND THE FUJIMOTOS KNOW WE WILL BE HEARD.
WE DO NOT ACCEPT BILL FUJIMOTO'S RESIGNATION.
WE WILL NOT SHOP AT THE STORE IF THE FAMILY ACCEPTS HIS RESIGNATION.

PLEASE TWEET ABOUT MONTEREY MARKET and the petition.
PLEASE TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING.

I love Monterey Market.
I always have.
I always will.
I support Monterey Market from accross the USA and into the United Kingdom.
BUY EAT AT BILLS AND WATCH IT WITH EVERYONE YOU KNOW PILED INTO THE LIVINGROOM if you don't believe me when I say this is a place that must be saved!!!!!!

**If you have time to leave a comment here, you have time to write a letter to the Fujimoto's.

04 March 2009

Hamantaschen for Purim

 they look so innocent.
leetle triangles.
filled with goodness.
hand formed.DSC_0011
delicate dough.
baked to order.
smaller than the palm of your hand.
a few bites.
one brief Jewish Holiday.
Purim.

HAMANTASCHEN.

thousands of them ordered.
sheeting, cutting circles, filling, egg yolk 'glue' washing, forming & sealing, freezing.
just a little cookie.
no harm no foul.

just 4000. that's all.

who needs sleep?

01 February 2009

The price of a racehorse

The price of a racehorse

Neither defines its worth nor designates its place
She is only as good as her last day
Only as fast as she can be

There are no guarantees

No insurance.

What is the return on investment?
When is the horse trusted to run fast?
Really fast?
Everyday.

The price of a racehorse
Is relative
Only to the price of other racehorses.

{If housework was quantifiable,
Men would have to be stay-at-home moms too.}
       good thing wives come cheap.

The price of a racehorse is hope.
Hours of training go unaccounted for.
You'll never pay for a trainer’s lost sleep.

Dedication cannot be bought.
Inspiration cannot be forced.
Legs cannot be bound
So they never break.

How does one train a horse to run fast?

Is it through force or suggestion?
Inspiration or starvation?

Will the owner, the payee, ever be satisfied?
Will the return on investment ever be noted?
Noticed. 

You could be doing better. I know you can.

Or is it part of the game—to constantly push, to constantly hope, to constantly withhold, to constantly demand and admonish.

Every race a new track. Every gun fired for the first time. Every gate, every judge, every clock, without memory, without prejudice.
Eyes unseeing.

The racehorse runs until she dies.
{This doesn’t have to be as terrible as it sounds.}

What was it all for?
Was her investment returned?
Was she more trouble than ribbons? Did her cost balance her wins?
Will people remember her when she’s left the track?

There is no price one can set for another.
There is no return on investment if one is never satisfied, if one plays so hard, pushes so fiercely, demands the world
Every day.
moments of amazing streaks of speed and grace,           are missed.

Faerie dust in the dustpan.
Horses  after horses after horses,
and where o where to put the decimal point?

There is no insurance that the race will always be won because it never happens always.

Trust
Is built, not demanded.
Trust is faith.
        Not empirical.

The price of a racehorse is dreams tied together with hope surrounding a package of desire.
        It is elusive at best.

And the horse?
She will run as fast as she can

Because she loves the feel of air
Coursing fast over her face, ears set back, four hooves afloat
        A streak of will and heft, power and grace
Both.

A pull from within
To be as bold as wind, singular as horizon
Inspired by no     one     named

Owned by             nothing
But that moment,

that whoosh.

2 January 2009

08 December 2008

How Many Hours a Day Do Chefs Work?

Being a chef and having a blog means fielding dozens of questions from people all over the world who want to know the path to becoming a chef, cook, pastry chef or stagiere. Both in the comments section of eggbeater, and on the side, questions come in both frantic and even, inquisitive and demanding. Lately I've had a number of inquiries about how many hours should one work without getting paid.

It's no secret that cooks/chefs do not work 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week over a consecutive 5 day period. This example, in fact, would be called Part Time by most in the industry. The running joke at The French Laundry was that one day off was a weekend, and 2,vacation. For years I heard that in order to take an actual vacation from a cooking job, one must quit altogether, as paid vacations are a delusional fantasy for most of us in the field.

Even when a cook's schedule says arrive at 8 am and leave at 4 pm, there are hidden hours assumed. No cook who arrives on their station at 8 am will be ready by 11 or noon for service, unless their place of work demands very little prep from them. For those of us trained in fine dining, a 10-14 hour day is normal, even if our paychecks reflect 8.

Is this illegal? Yes. Should it be another way? Perhaps. Has it always been so? Yes. Will it continue on, even in free societies? Probably. Is this the only way to become a chef? Basically.

I belong to a worlwide organization that has an inside joke. It goes like this, depending on where you live, "We are not for people who need us, we're for people who want us, otherwise we would gather in Shea ________ (fill in your area's blank.) Stadium every day."

Being a professional cook is something like this. You should be passionate about food if you're going to enter the doors that lead to Chefdom. It is not the career path for everyone. Being a chef is not even for all the people in the world who love to cook, have a knack for cooking or are fantastic at it.

Like most of the arts, and paths to master craftsmanship, one should be more passionate about this than most any other thing in their life, if one wants to wear the temporary crown of Chef one day.

I say temporary because even at the top, with a Michelin view and booked reservations until the end of the next century, anything can happen.

Becoming a chef is a personal thing. It's more inward and private than one might think, seeing it from the outside or through a TV set. Cooking professionally is a secret society with rules and language and posturing and jokes and we have all this

because the hours are brutal.

And the only reward

is our integrity. Which we go to bed with alone every night, even if we're holding onto someone else.

And it's possible that that person we're holding onto every night can't understand, at all, why we have to work so many goddamned hours. She may ask us to quit and get another job. He may demand we spend more time at home. She may say we should quit this profession altogether. He may leave us because of it.

You have to be dedicated, really fucking dedicated, to your career and education in this field, if you're to stick out all those unpaid hours. You have to take and take and take during those unpaid hours. You have to watch and stare and ask questions and borrow tricks and put your head down and try and become faster and neater and more economical and efficient,

so you can do your job faster and better every day, and the next.

Not that you'll work less hours because of it, but you'll be able to take more on, and learn more, if you can manage your time better.

This came to me in a letter recently, from a fellow cook and close friend,

"You are, indeed, a professional, and that doesn't just mean you can bake, but that you know how to manage yourself on and off the job as well.

Remember one thing though... You are your hardest critic.  If you pull back a little, it hurts because you know somewhere that you can give more.  But you know what... They don't really know that, and even if they did, they would be ecstatic with the amount you are giving them.

Pull back and save a bit for Shuna."

          I've been cooking for 16 years and I forget too.

There are a lot of pressures in this industry. And like a vacuum cleaner, they don't shut off until you pull the plug. One can only do so much in a day. One can only manage so well if one never takes a day off. One can only notice so much if one sleeps 4 hours a night. One can only work so fast, so efficiently, if one is on one's 12th day in a row of 15 hour days.

There's no accounting for all the unpaid hours we clock in, off the clock. There's no one carving the macho notches in our cook's belts, and when we walk in the doors to our next job they won't know we never slept and had no life outside of our last kitchen. Every job we start over in we have to prove ourselves again.

And in time, over the span of years, we do get better and faster and more organized and more efficient. And it IS possible that at a certain age, both in years and in experience, we can slow down, maybe, and work a little less. If we choose.

We can also choose to look at it a bit differently. Can you quantify all the hours you stayed up reading with that watermarked piece of paper you received one day in early summer after four or six years of semester after semester of worrying, studying, taking tests, borrowing books and listening to lectures?

If you feel like an immediate dollar amount should be attached to every minute you have a uniform on in the kitchen then you may want to consider a Union job or another profession altogether. If you sit down with a calculator and divide all the hours you spend in the kitchen by your paycheck, you will be aghast by the tiny number under that line.

Or you can go to bed every night with a stronger sense of self because you go into the kitchen day after day prepared to listen more closely, watch more intently, be more humble, give more generously, admit more wrongs, teach more patiently, learn with an open heart and feel proud to work among the people you do and make the food you make.

Cooking may or may not be an art, but it most definitely is a craft. And all crafts take loads of unquantifiable hours of practicing and studying to learn; to know intimately. To be paid for a concert one must have played their scales over and over until they couldn't stand it and then did them some more.

How many hours a day do chefs work?

If you're forcing me to count, I would have to say 25.

28 October 2008

Restaurants That Bounce Payroll. Or, What To Do When Your Employer Is Being A Low-Down-Dirty Scoundrel

Everyone is having a hard time right now. Even if they don't know it. Everyone is getting smacked financially. Even if their Master hasn't demanded they drop their pants just yet, it's coming.

A spanking fest is coming to a restaurant near you.

Now it's time to weed out the doe eyed culinary graduates from the serious, stamina-strong line cooks. The hope is that fewer restaurants mean fewer shoemakers. Or, shoemakers will be all that's left when the good cooks and chefs go to where they're appreciated, paid on time and cooking food with integrity.

Now is the time, Restaurant Owners, to take that arithmetic class you've been waiting for. Because those percentages? They ain't on your side. And chefs? Just because you're a damn fine cook with mad skillz, shiny whites in your mouth and around your puffed-out chest, don't mean you can run a kitchen.

        It's on.

Someone more adept at this than I said last March 20th, "It's going to be just like the 90's and the Dot Com Bust: a clearing out is going to happen. And many restaurants will fall, only to leave the strong ones standing."

People will see some of their favourite restaurants close. Busy places that, 'must be doing really well.'

And so it begins. Only those restaurants with money in the bank, money set aside and gathering what little strength it can; so one day [soon] those innocent pieces of paper will grow up to be a magic carpet ride, gathering up the house to carry it through these brutal times.

As a good friend of mine says, I want to hit the 'do what I want, dammit' button right about now. But I can't. I waited and pieced together what I could here until another land seemed better. Any land with a job, in fact, seemed better.

But I took a question recently that made my heart sink. And then my blood boiled.

"What can I do if my employer is not paying me us?"

And I remembered. I remembered walking to work one morning in the Flatiron district in NYC. I passed a large, hip restaurant where I knew the latest and former sous chef, and some of the cooks, and I looked at the front door and kept walking. And then I did a double-take. A double-take that can only happen on the early morning empty streets of New York City.

I saw a chain with links the size of my torso wrapped around the whole building with a padlock bigger than my arm span holding it together. I thought I might be on a movie set. And then I saw the flourescent sticker. "City Closure. Do Not Enter Premises."

Bouncing payroll is illegal and paying employees cash is not optimal, but not paying people at all? It's really illegal.

Because you know why? The money you are giving your workers is for HOURS THAT THEY HAVE ALREADY WORKED. The check you sign is not a fucking gift. It's not a thank you note or a bouquet of flowers for bedding you.

When you hire someone, whether they are "on the books" or off, you make an agreement with them, albeit an uneven one. Your employees do not owe you anything past the agreement, least of all sympathy for your mismanagement of the money they help you earn.

Do you work in a restaurant that is withholding your pay? Are you a waiter whose house is taking your tips? Are you a sometimes worker who gets a heavy envelope some weeks and a light one on others? Have you agreed to be a "Consultant" without getting anything in writing from those lovely people who seem nice enough but won't answer your emails after you've invoiced them? Is your boss absent on payday?

If you work in California the labor laws are written for employees. This is not true for all States and not all countries. If you work in San Francisco you may speak to a real person anonymously to find out your rights or just sneak into a nondescript office to pick up pamphlets. In many languages, not just English.

        An injury against one is an injury against us all.

Here are some links that will help you:

Minimum Wage questions?

Office of Labor Standards Enforcement has many links leading to all sorts of amazing resources.

A few California Labor Lawyers, Should you get serious about fighting The Man.

Are you a low wage earner? Is English your second language? The Legal Aid Society, Employment Law Center serves you directly.

Questions about Paydays, Pay periods and Final Wages? Want to know exactly what law your employer is breaking given your individual circumstance? The California Department of Industrial Relations is your place to visit. Take a seat.

"Violations by an employer of any of the Industrial Welfare Commission Orders respecting payment of the minimum wage, payment of overtime, failure to give meal and/or rest periods, reimbursement for uniforms, payroll record keeping, and cash shortages." This is just one paragraph from the California Government site concerning filing a claim with The Bureau of Field Enforcement.

And last, but definitely not least, you may file a claim against your employer by tracking down the information also on the Ca. Gov site. You can be an employee or a former employee. We're not talking Mad Max here, you will only be doing what's right for you, your fellow workers and the employees that might come after you, if the restaurant stays afloat. It's called a WAGE CLAIM and you can find out more by visiting 455 Golden Gate Avenue, SF, Ca. or going to the Division of Labor Standards Enforcement = DLSE, near you.

Even if you go to a DLSE merely for educational purposes, it's a long-lasting educational tool. Knowing your rights can be a blessing and a curse, as my grandmother would say. It has been both for me.

If you want to stay a wage earner your whole career than you don't need any of this advice. But the minute you turn into a manager/ owner/ partner enforcing local and federal labor laws, you'll need this bit of schooling. Better to get it now and keep it in the tool box, sharp, for a rainy day spell such as this one.

06 October 2008

"The Weeds." Restaurant Speak: Lexicon of Cooks.

For every lesson there is a learning curve. Some are as steep as 90 degree angles. This family of learning is known as one or all of the following:

Sink-Or-Swim
Fish Or Cut Bait
Shit or Get Off the Pot
Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire

Other lessons aren't as harsh. Someone has patience, takes time, mentors. You get shown once, twice; there may even be time for endless instruction.

In kitchens there's a lot of the former, and very little, or none, of the latter.

A cook needs to understand everything now and produce it yesterday.
And every day said cook needs to be more efficient and organized, cleaner and faster, than the day before. Every day the food, the task, need to be executed better. 

There are a few ways to teach a cook Imperative.

One is to tell him.

"We need you to accomplish this five hour task by the time service starts, in 1 and a half hours."
"Hey, I need these carrots for service. Yeah I know you think it will take you longer than 30 minutes but it can't, right, because I need them to cook for the first order which is in, well, now, 28 minutes."
"You need to move faster."
"Every day your list is going to get longer."
"Managing your time better means doing more than one thing at a time. A lot more."

And so on.

Another is to show her.

Get in there, take the peeler out of her hand, and peel those apples faster, talking and showing as you go. Give instruction in a clear, concise way backed up with answers to why and show the how. Take another spoon out of the bain marie and quenelle 10 for every three she does. Show her how to move faster, stay cleaner and teach form, grace and economy of movement. Be more organized than your staff, showing them it can be done. Inspire them to want to be better.

Some cooks like their lessons served up military-style.

Kick cooks out of their stations, off their lines, and show them up. Break their egos with yelling, psychological violence and oneupmanship. Show them who's boss. Remind the line you're alpha and will fight to the death for that position, like a cock, or dogs. Constantly remind them they're nothing without you. It's Boot-camp. War. It's the emergency room and you have to push on through, no matter what.

There are cooks who call this abuse. And chefs who will tell you without this treatment they would have stayed mere civilians. There are cooks who only better themselves under this pressure, even when the other side of their mouth is telling you something else.

Other cooks learn through empowerment.

Sometimes giving a cook more responsibility than they may be able to handle, given their skill level, is a great way to assess and grow a cook. Certain cooks blossom with this treatment. For others it's not enough structure or guidance. Sometimes the mere act of wholeheartedly believing in someone (even before they feel confident themselves) will push them to step up, to improve.

There are cooks who grow only by verbal compliments and others who would rather their daily work towards greatness was an internal, private affair. Many cooks look to their teams to support them and others want to be the Chef's pet.

In short, there are thousands of ways to manage a kitchen. To teach a cook a lesson. Lessons.

But first things first.

Who are you?

Do you know your strengths?
Weaknesses?

I'm here to say what you don't want to hear:
You must know how to manage yourself, how to ask for help/ support/ assistance before you can manage others effectively.

        I hear you talking all this talk.
           - But for fuck's sake, step up.

The Weeds.

It's an expression we have. It means a few things but basically the expression defines getting into deeper and deeper water, and not being able to see trees for the forest.

The ticket machine starts at 5:29 and doesn't stop punching out orders until midnight.
You haven't had time enough to prep before service.
Your partner is hungover. You have a fever. Your wrist is broken. It's your 46th day in a row without a day off. The ventilation doesn't work and it's 116F outside at 7 pm and you can't think straight. Your boyfriend just broke up with you and your mind is elsewhere.
Your chef has never worked your station and has no clue about your firing times and so keeps waiting until the last minute to fire food off your station that takes three times as long as he thinks. You're pre-firing food that hasn't been called and now you've lost track of what is what, for what order and at what temperature.
Your mis en place is melting, you're plating cold desserts on hot plates and the ice machine is broken.

You're so behind you can't remember when you weren't. Your deep in the weeds you don't know when it snuck up on you.

The item on the menu you prepped the least because it's been a dud all week is on every goddamned ticket and you're trying to figure out how many orders you have so you can put them on count but you know it's more than likely you'll miscount and have to 86 it while there are still tickets on the board and then every waiter will hate you not to mention the chef and meanwhile you're cooking in six saute pans and, shit, you missed that last call, what was it?

The Weeds

will take you no matter how smart, clean, efficient, organized, you are. The Weeds will find your weakness. And live there. The Weeds wait for every cook.

        In plain fucking sight, yo.

The Weeds will take your lunch money and throw sand in your face and take your girlfriend and steal your pride. The Weeds do not discriminate. The Weeds wait. The Weeds are patient. Quiet. Confident. The Weeds strip you naked and leave you out to dry. And the next night? They'll be back again.
Refreshed.

Some chefs teach their cooks by dropping them into the weeds head first, hands tied behind their backs. I have an expression for this:

Setting someone up to fail.
It's a shaming method.

And you know what? Sometimes it works.

I don't say this because I'm a horrendous despot. A leader without conscious.
On the contrary.

There are people whose pride is so great that even when they are deep in The Weeds and not only sinking their own personal ship, but also the rest of The Line, they refuse to raise a white flag.

Just so we're all clear: SURRENDER does not equal pathetic.
         Sometimes bravery is quiet. Saying you need help is actually stronger than pretending you're Superman.

Every kitchen is a team. A team is made up of individuals, yes, but if the individuals do not see themselves as a Part of the Whole, all that happens is a lot of slam dunks and very little proper basketball playing. The cream will rise to the top. And if a chef is smart she can see who does what best and who needs to be pushed. How hard.

Managing is about bringing out the best in people.
It is about seeing the whole picture. It's about forecasting. Planning ahead. And taking the inevitable challenges into account.
Managing well is about turning problems into solutions. Plural.

And sometimes the whole team is being obscured by the mug of a cook who will not see her place. Be blind to how his actions, or inactions (as is the case in the point I'm making here) affect others, namely his team.

Sometimes a cook will be pushed into The Weeds. Sacrificed. Shown and shamed into seeing how it takes The Whole Line to push out the orders.

To be an effective manager, though, one must recognize one's own weaknesses. Otherwise it (= the problems), will always be someone else's fault.

Otherwise known as: Absence of Accountability.

AKA Scapegoating. Or, "The Blame Game," and "Not my Job."

Yes, even Restaurant Owners and Chefs and Sous Chefs can have this ailment.

And if the buck stops with no one, or everyone (which is the same problem really), then the final result is doomed. And because cooks produce edible results, this is a problem. A problem for the cook, the team, the chef, the diner, and the looming bottom line.

The Weeds.

It's an expression for line cooks by line cooks, but it is also something much larger. A euphemism. It's an in-the-moment, during service expression.

But it can also refer to your whole career.

The Weeds

can take a whole department. A station. A restaurant. A person and their career.

On The Line the weeds will usually let you out of its stranglehold after the last table is out.
But if you're really stubborn, The Weeds might have a lesson for you that takes a week, or five years.

When I train cooks I say the same thing over and over.

There are no cowboys on islands in kitchens. If you can be smart and honest enough to see The Weeds getting near, and you can ask for support before The Weeds claim you altogether, I and we can help you push through. But if we don't know you need help until you're drowning, not only is it too late to help you, it's too late to save the food from merely being banged-out. And I don't know about you but I have more pride in my food than to allow it to be banged-out.

Banging-Out is for Shoemakers.

Most people are not being set up to fail by others,
        they are being to set up to fail by themselves.

Most people are in their own way. This is an off shoot of The Weeds, another swamp, if you will.

{Communication is The Most Important Thing in professional kitchens.}

I am calling out to all cooks, all chefs with these words. While I understand that the recipe for success in kitchens is a strange concoction for which there is no standard recipe, ingredients include this contradicting mixture:

humility [definition of humility: the quality of being humble and modest], pridefulness, cockiness, deference. One must be: an independent, team-player, creator of ideas, idea executer, teacher, student, and apprentice.

Like an alchemist, cooks mix potions daily, for each job, with varying proportions of all these ingredients and descriptors. A pinch of confidence and a splash of humility; saute, and deglaze with liquid courage and hope the plate reads 'Believe in me. I believe in me.' Each cook dons a new persona, ever increasing in confidence, but attempting not to reach too high, too far, too fast.
Or so I hope.

Because with each leap, each promotion, each new station and position learned, a cook's ego has been battered and bruised, but not broken. The hope is that said cook will drag themselves out of bed and want to do a better job the next day. Show her chef what she's made of, show his sous chef he means it when he says learning a new station by next menu change is what he wants.

It's a precarious line we cooks walk. If one enters a kitchen meek, quiet and unassuming, one might very well leave that kitchen much the same. And if said cook is working their way up; with a goal in mind to one day be a chef, a manager, a difference maker, an inspirationalist, an overseer, an idea maker, a mover-and-a-shaker; he and she must take risks, speak up, push to learn more, and enter The Weeds not like a sheep going to slaughter, but like a goalie taking it for the team.

Cooks support fellow cooks. Cowboys on islands become clueless chefs who lead their team into The Weeds every night single-handedly. For every one celebrity chef there are hundreds, and maybe thousands of cooks and sous chefs that have given over their lives to perfect that shiny person's food. Not a single chef is a chef alone.

On every team there are Rock Stars, yes. If it's you, shine on. But know this: even rock stars need back up bands, producers, record contracts and fans who help rock stars meet bottom lines. Even if it's art is for art's sake you're creating, it cannot be seen without an audience.

I beg of you, raise that flag before it's too late. During service yes, but more importantly, or as training for the bigger picture: your career.

Get out of your own way. If you can't ask for support until you're drowning, remember this:

It is more arduous and embarrassing a prospect to be drug out of the swamp by an emergency call than by your own admission to being human.

And if you disagree, I have one question:

How's that working out for you?

10 September 2008

Slow Food Nation Re-Cap: Voices Heard & Wanted

Labor Day weekend in San Francisco hosted Slow Food Nation put on by Slow Food USA. The reports say over 60,000 people participated in some way and that doesn't count over 2,000 volunteers and all the vendors who made, sold, gave away, prepped and educated people about their foodstuffs.

Every major media source both online and in print wrote about it. Some protested it actively, many passively and most of the Bay Area didn't know it was happening.

No event at this scale can satisfy everyone, but I think we can all agree that it was a major thing to pull off. Slow Food Nation had issues galore, from the minute someone thought of it, to the day doors opened and let throngs of curious people in.

Stephanie Lucianovic
wrote a scathing piece on KQED's Bay Area Bites about her experience as a volunteer. As of this morning the comment count was at 50. Many of the commenters were also volunteers and it might very well be the first well-rounded account of Slow Food Nation from a back-of-house perspective.

Slow Food has created a basic survey to get a sense of how SFN was received and experienced. Please consider taking it, even if you chose not to go. If you don't speak up here, consider your complaints and praise unheard.

A thoroughly researched and provocative article was written by local journalist John Birdsall in the September issue of San Francisco magazine. Replete with thought-provoking quotes from most of the major players behind Slow Food International and those who put on Slow Food Nation, Mr. Birdsall's article is a must for anyone attempting to either wrap one's head around this confused organization, or critique it for real.

This morning I wrote a letter to all the people I came into contact with via Slow Food and Slow Food Nation saying much of what I've said here. Here are a few quotes from from that letter:

"I think it's important to know the praise as well as the critique for SFN. I have been cooking professionally for over 15 years myself and have worked for and on some of the largest, most well-thought out and organized events in NYC and SF. I have worked for caterers, bakeries and restaurants. To this end I have had a lot of experience being a worker (volunteer or otherwise) seeing and going to food events as big as this, and some of them larger.

While I saw, read, knew and realized that Slow Food Nation had some serious issues in organizing and fundraising since its inception, I wanted the weekend and event to work out and was excited to be part of it. I knew the best way to wrap my head around its impending overwhelmed-ness was to volunteer; to be part and give.

My hope is that Slow Food USA, Carlo Petrini, Alice Waters, Anya Fernald and the companies that SFUSA hired to promote and manage SFN will listen to all our voices when we say that the event, while successful because it happened at all, could do to listen and learn from the people who really made this happen: volunteers who showed up on those days but also volunteers who promoted and talked about and educated and wrote about the event long before the end of August.

I look forward to any and all response Slow Food USA, Carlo Petrini, Alice Waters, Anya Fernald and the companies that SFUSA hired to promote and manage SFN have, after the event, from their perspective, so that we can all understand Slow Food Nation, and "how it did," as a whole."

A quick search for other voices came up with Christine Muhlke's NY Times September 2nd piece, extensive SF Chronicle coverage, and much from the blogosphere. Jennifer Maiser's Serious Eats coverage offers some suggestions for Slow Food, which I hope they see and hear and pay attention to.

I'm still processing the weekend. It was grand and also deeply troublesome  on many levels. I'm really glad I volunteered. I find it's always the best way to navigate, understand and experience mega-events. If I did nithing else but teach half a dozen people from elewhere about the Bay Area's composting program, then so be it.

I hope you'll take the survey. And be brave enough to hear and create constructive critique. It is my belief that with honest communication, solutions can be formed from problems.

And me, I'd rather live in the solution than the whinging, whining and complaining, no matter how much speaking up and out {directly to the people who need to hear it} is frightening.   

04 September 2008

Journalists Arrested at the Republican National Convention

Warning: this post is not about food.

While I realize most people don't read eggbeater to hear about politics, this video and subject has come to my attention and I can't stop thinking about it.

It's none of my business how you vote or whether you watch the news. It's very possible you live in a country where it's illegal to protest at all.

While I don't abide by protesting with violence, I do believe strongly in allowing media to report on all sides of a subject. Arresting journalists to silence viewpoints, as reported in the LA Times, either literally, or by killing them, is a terrifying practice, no matter how you slice it.

Both my parents are journalists. And as I am becoming one, I find this news of news being squelched, heartbreaking. Of course it has happened forever and it might always happen, but I am here to protest it as a practice.

22 August 2008

we're not gonna take it lyin' down.

Img_7772_2

14 August 2008

Cooking Professionally: Is it "Sustainable?"

This past week, "the economy" "took the life" of one of San Francisco's most venerable restaurants, Rubicon. The SF Chronicle reported on its closing party yesterday.

You might wonder why I don't report on the world's goings on as often as my blogging cohorts. And you might not believe the reason. Media affects me so powerfully that I have to travel inward to digest what I've read. It can take me months to allow how I feel to come through. Call me too sensitive. You wouldn't, and you won't, be the first. Or last.

The industry I work for is a luxury product. When people argue about how grapes are grown in Napa, all I can think about is the fact that wine is not sustenance. And the people who make your swirling, sniffing, tasting, arguing, musing, price-comparing, decadent auctioning, possible might never have the rights (many of) your pets have in this wealthy country.

People often ask me, "What do you do?"

"I'm in the pleasure business." I reply. Yes, mostly because I'm an upstart, but also because it's true.

I make sweet things.

I craft pleasure. I spin tales with sugar. I sear with caramel and sooth with iced cream. I taste of salt and season with sweet. I conjure, coax, and evoke. Come with me and I'll take you somewhere

else.

But is it art? Or craft? And is it important? Necessary?

We get all up in arms in the Bay Area protecting what we feel are our rights. We have a wealth of choices here, in all things food and liquid, soil and sun, weather and geography. We? Well a loud voiced we at any rate.

And then there's the "Purity Factor." We in Northern California like to challenge anything, look at it closely, and tear it apart; constructively or otherwise (ahh the delightful taste of passive aggression), to prove that it's not as pure as it says it is. You say you're a Locavore? Do you know where you're black peppercorns come from? Salt? Dish soap? Have you recently chose to become vegan? Do you eat honey? How about naturally occurring yeasted/fermented things? When you say you're a vegan because you want to preserve the life of animals, do you think of humans as animals too?

Think you care more than most people about Organic food? Do you know who owns the company that owns the people who plant and harvest your precious, perfect produce? Do you know who owns the water? Have you seen the list of acceptable pesticides and fungicides for Organic fruits & vegetables lately? Would you feed them to your children, straight?

No one is pure enough. Not even Slow Food Nation. You'd think Monsanto was setting up camp from the way a lot of "food people" are reacting. So what if they're a little disorganized? Or a lot. You try organizing 50,000 people with 2000 volunteers. No. Corporate. Sponsorship.* Gay Pride can't even say that.

     *This in from Jen Maiser: "From [SFN's] site FAQ's:
     "Slow Food Nation is funded by ticket sales (20% of revenue), corporate sponsors (50% of revenue),    foundations (25% of revenue) and philanthropists (5% of revenue)." For More Information, check out the FAQ portion of the SFN website.

My point? Yes, I have one.

I met with a friend yesterday. She's been in the business longer than me, totaling 20+ years. We talked about our options. Made vague references to who was courting us and what we hoped would be different about our next jobs. We talked about how many pastry chefs are out of work. We spoke of failed restaurants, recent Bauer reviews, the cost of delicious fruit as brought to us by wholesalers, working with the new breed of staff who expect to work less for more pay than we ever dreamed possible at "their age," the insanely high cost of living in the Bay Area, how 'having a life' outside of the kitchen was nearly impossible with a pastry chef job, and so much more.

All Doom & Gloom? No, but close.

We each have reached 40. Neither of us are married nor own the places we inhabit. Neither of us have a 401K. Both of us pay for our own health insurance. We've taught, owned, managed, struggled, learned, given, opened, closed and now we're thinking. A lot. Our minds could be a dangerous place.

But instead we supported. Heard each other out. Dished. Nodded heads. Shared industry secrets. Laughed because we knew. And then we did something else.

We thought of what the other person could do, besides. Instead of. I wrote some notes. We gave each other feedback, and received. We expanded our minds beyond the jail bars of this industry. We fought 'the voice.'

I'm going to say it. Move to a screen with a kitties now if you can't handle it.

My industry is not sustainable. Restaurants are not sustainable. Not for the employees. Or most employers.

Yes, we can buy seafood that's not as bad as some other seafood. We can know the name of the pig we eat and kill it our self. We can buy direct from the farmer and put her name on our menu. We can build our restaurants with re-claimed wood. We can burn only beeswax candles. We can sell our fryer oil to the biodiesel people.

If it weren't for unions rioting for years and years, and many a person dying, our employers might not have to give us days off or a minimum wage. The eight hour day would never exist without there having been years and years of bloody fighting.

And everyone knows the 8 hour day/40 hour week is for bankers, not cooks.

Not sustainable.

I can hear you gearing up for an argument. Good. Roll up your sleeves and get in line.

Then why have certain restaurants lasted for years and years? How come thousands of people sign checks every year over to schools that are going to give them an unflattering polyester outfit and a tall paper hat in exchange for what could pass as a mortgage payment in most American States? How come Top Chef is such a big hit? And everyone keeps opening restaurants? Even when the world's food crises is starving people in every nation and the cost of petroleum is doubling on every other breath?

Rubicon closed a few days ago. I remember when it opened. It's backers are major players, and savvy business people. The restaurant sat in the Financial District. It was elegant and quiet, private and charming. Rubicon's kitchen was dedicated to promoting great chefs to greater greatness, and no one who's cheffed in SF longer than a minute hasn't cooked with someone who worked there. Rubicon closed. No one is safe.

The economy sucks, you say? I'm just bitter because I was laid off at the beginning of the year?

Hey, it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop cooking. Or cease making sweet things. Or hang up my coat forever. It doesn't mean there's no reason for living.

I'm not saying anything other cooks and chefs and restaurant owners don't know. And there are chefs who make serious money. In America everyone is given the same opportunity to exploit or treat fairly. Work hard and you can make something of yourself. Step or jump out of your class. Your choice.

As employees we can fight for our rights if we want to know them. Whether you work for American Express or Burger King, if you are an American citizen, and you do not have the ability to hire and fire, you are covered by all of the same Federal Labor Laws, many of which were decided by or before 1920.

Cooking professionally is not sustainable. Selling food that people cook in real time is not sustainable. Not sustainable based on 5 days a week, 8 hours a day, year round. Not based on paying all food producers a market value living wage. Not based on treating soil and mountains and air and the water table the way we would if we really wanted to keep it viable for future peoples, not just "first world" peoples, in the future.

Radical? Me? Nah.

Just trying to face facts. And move on. And get my head out of the sand.

Not that my compost pile isn't worth something. Or my belief that fruit desserts should be made with seasonal, ripe fruit is going to go out the window. I'm not going to eat factory pork if I can help it. I'm not going to go work for Phillip Morris or order swordfish or stop eating out or start drinking or take up cutting or start telling all y'all how to be more pure.

Remember who made 'being pure' infamous?

What would we feel like if we lived in a country who displayed their unfair, corrupt, despotism with more transparency? Would we still be mad at Whole Foods for eliminating their bulk section?

What would we be grateful for if every time we got something, we weren't expecting more?

Who would we be if we gave up a part of our paycheck every week not at the bar, but gave it directly to the dishwasher at our favorite restaurant?

When will we be satisfied?

I'm not saying there's nothing left to fight for. I'm not saying 'Give up.' I'm not laying down with this knowledge. I hope to see what I look like at 50. I'm interested in seeing how I can Zelig as the economy continues to dip and I am definitely interested in getting a new president elected who says he wants change.

And, o yes, I want to make desserts in a restaurant again. I want to teach and learn. Crazy? Yes. I love doughnuts. I think the perfect croissant eaten in the most romantic city will change my life. My hopeless romanticism will not be evicted.

I think one day all of us speed induced (we want everything yesterday), technologically drugged, "choice" motivated whores (you know, the people who tell you it's their right and choice to smoke cigarettes and ___________ fill in the blank of whatever you judge "them" for), will stop. And see that if we continue on the way we have been, things we can never replace are really disappearing. Forever.

Please challenge me. Bring it on. Lift me up and carry me high so I can see the horizon. Tell me how to make it work.Tell me you think it can work. Even in small towns. In little corners of your world. I'm writing down what I know. What I see. What I've seen. But I'm not everyone everywhere doing everything.

That's what y'all are for.

30 July 2008

Slow Food Nation, SF. Your Thoughts?

Slow Food Nation '08 | Aug 29 - Sept 1

So you live in this city and you start to hear rumblings about a major food event happening there. It has roots in some good, maybe even great, ideas. Passionate people are spearheading the event, and before you know it, this thing, which is not yet named or fleshed out, gets National coverage. Soon people are a-buzz everywhere and people from all areas of your life are telling and asking and directing your towards it.

What is this thing?

And why is it coming to your city? And who is behind it? And why does it sound like tens of thousands of people will descend on your city without a map or a goal or anything but an empty stomach?

Why, why, why why why why why why, WHY?

When, where, how, what, who?

Perhaps Slow Food Nation is a gathering of surrealists for whom food is their medium of the moment.

Perhaps Slow Food Nation is a mystery and you have to be here to experience it.

Perhaps Slow Food Nation IS RADICAL.

Perhaps Slow Food Nation is a Be In.

Perhaps Slow Food Nation is like nothing you've ever:

                           known, seen, tasted, smelled, experienced, discovered, loved, despised,                             enjoyed, partook in, rebelled against, participated in, protested, ventured into, been skeptical of, took a stand for,

      rallied against, felt nothing for, knew nothing of, loved, hated, liked, didn't care one way or the other, paid or volunteered for, got behind, said No to, inquired about, organized, thought about, thought nothing about,

took a preemptive strike against, shat on, made fun of, laughed at, laughed with, took pride in, changed your life for, took time off for, ignored, were invited to, knew nothing of, couldn't give a rat's ass about, looked forward to your whole life of, couldn't wait for, wished you'd never heard of it?

I don't know. I have no idea how you feel.

And you know what?

Slow Food Nation doesn't know either.

And it's possible they don't care. And it's possible they do care.

Slow Food Nation

is going to happen. with or without your excitement and participation. will not please all the people all the time. will make history. is going to be insanely broad and disorganized and frenetic and overwhelming and educational and too much and not enough and not exactly right and not perfect and.

so what if it's not perfect? is anything perfect?

Oh San Francisco, I beseech you!

Look how rich our land is, how deep our American, as well as Californian, privilege stretches. We are so jaded, so spoiled, so damned lucky! Why so much moaning and complaining? Sure, I'll agree, this SFN thing is disorganized and I wish it weren't. I would much rather a neat little package were delivered to my doorstep so I didn't have to change out of my pajamas to walk out of my door and retrieve it.

This is the first one of it's kind. It means you can be a part of it. And next year, or next time, you can say, "I was a part of that crazy wonderful insane fantastic frantic overwhelming delicious disappointing amazing frightening event." I can't believe I survived it's wondrousness. ZOW.

Will you go? To any of it? Why?

Will you leave town? Will you avoid it all? Why?

Any other musings, complaints, hopes, desires, disillusions, epiphanies, rants, etc? Please feel free to place them in the space provided below. P.S. This is a venue for discussion, which may include disagreements, but it is not a place for attacks or anonymous insults.

22 July 2008

San Francisco Health Care Initiative "Surcharges"

In politics there are those who support and defend causes and those who fight them. There are those who like to complain into the ether and those who like to speak to the source. And then there are the whiners.

There are also those of us who are foolish enough to think we can make change.

We think people want to be good, better, and even fair. We think that by speaking up and asking questions and opening our hearts and arms, all of those who disagree with us will, at the very least, open their own minds to the possibility of hearing us. And maybe even making a turn around.

I hear there are some Republicans who might vote for Obama.

No matter what your stance, I'm sure you will agree with me when I say that some arguments are stickier than dried molasses on elephants. Take Northern Ireland for example. Or Israel. Better to leave those arguments for those more equipped.

How Restaurants, diners, city government officials, professional organizations that represent restaurants, restaurant critics, bloggers, chefs, cooks, waiters, minimum wage service workers--- (the people who make your:
    lattes and copies and change at the gas station and sandwiches and floors clean and ice cream scoops and car clean and...)
are reacting to San Francisco's Health Care Initiative bill is dreadful and confusing, to say the least, and it feels seemingly impossible to take a clear stance.

As a cook I love that someone has finally forced restaurant owners to Do The Right Thing. G-d  knows they didn't think of it themselves!

As a chef who thinks managing and being in charge of people is not something to take lightly I think it's a crime that restaurant owners are doing all sorts of whining about having to take care of their employees-- who, by the way, make it possible for them to have a business at all.

As a person who does not come from money, I find it annoying that a business owner would make a non- statement by passing on a charge to me. If they can't afford to make a dent in their own pocket, why should they get any of my business or hard earned money at all?

As a friend to many a restaurant owner who is also a chef, I empathize with their diminishing, and in some cases nearly zero, take home monies.

As a person who can often see both sides to an argument this issue poses quite a quandary. I am not saying I have the simple answer, or answers, but I do find it interesting to see Michael Bauer addressing it on his blog. Good for him to say what everyone is saying anyway, under their angry breath. The thing is this: Michael Bauer had to say it because restaurants forget to listen to the people who keep them in business. And in this horrible economy it's more than important that they do.

I found what Mr. Bauer had to say by catching up with Eater SF. If you visit the Eater SF link you'll see my response to the whole affair.

These are just a few of my sentences:

"If more restaurants had found a way to pay for health insurance for their lowest paid and untipped workers already, this law would not have been necessary.

For being one of the wealthiest, most expensive cities to live and survive in, San Francisco has a lot to whine about.

I say squeeze restaurant owners a bit so they understand that just loving cooking and eating does not a sustainable business model make."

Post Script: This law hopes to cover 82,000 people in San Francisco. It is not merely a restaurant issue, it's a people issue. The San Francisco Chronicle July 3, 2007 article.


20 June 2008

Napa Valley Eating & Imbibing

Img_4904While I was staying at the farm last week, I did manage to pry myself away from dog walking and reading the New Yorker long enough to eat and drink a bit in the new & improved Napa Valley.

Almost 10 years ago, when I lived in Napa, the city proper, downtown was basically a memory for a few people. The old movie theater was mostly "closed for renovations," block after block in the historic area was dusty and cobwebbed or being torn down, and visiting the post office was sometimes the highlight of my week.

Not so anymore.

The place has exploded.

You can get exquisite, inky, oily, sweet, freshly roasted espresso at Ritual, one of the best {vegetarian} meals in California at Ubuntu, real mint mint chocolate chip ice cream at Three Twins, just about any meat or meat product you want or have never heard of at Fatted CalfImg_4672 {our guy Guy took some of the best FC Img_4897photos-- check em out here}, illegally delicious coffee cake at Alexis Baking Company, gorgeous and delectable desserts by Nicole Plue, and produce grown with everloving care, if you choose to wake early and go to the St. Helena farmers' market.

Of course there are a hundred more restaurants and dozens of more eateries and imbibing stations, but above is what I got to on this go-around.

28 May 2008

What Is A Sous Chef?

What makes a sous chef great? Or how about even good? What does that mean, "sous chef"? Who are they and why are they necessary? Where does the sous chef reside in the hierarchy? When do you say yes to becoming a sous chef? Can you become a Chef without first being a sous chef? Can you become a sous chef if you've never been a line cook?

Who writes the sous chef's job description? What are the sous chef's duties? When does a sous chef punch in, and will he ever punch out? Will the sous chef put out fires or will she start them?

Sous. What does it mean?

        What does it really mean?

When you are a sous chef you are Middle Management. You are between a rock and a hard place. You have a little power, but not all of it. You have a dash of authority, and maybe a pinch, but rarely an armloadful. Sometimes your chef will back you, and sometimes not. {But your job is to back your chef, no matter what. At least in front of the kitchen. What you discuss or fight about behind closed doors is on you, or the two of you.} The sous chef and chef are to look like a unified front. On everything and everywhere.

You work too many hours. It's a thankless position. You want to be a brother among cooks on the line but the truth is you can't always be their friend. In fact it's a good idea if you try not to make too many.

The sous chef is somewhere between chef du partie and chef de cuisine. It's a stepping stone. It tests your mettle. And every emotion you own.

The sous chef is the chef when she's absent. The sous chef is the chef when he's hungover from the night before. The sous chef is the seer of all things, taster of all mis en place, receptacle of all blame, babysitter, mother and father of all cooks, translator of all languages, orderer of all goods, trainer of all below and herder of all above in rank. The sous chef is therapist, dominatrix, Priest, coach, coxswain and Captain.

The concept is that the sous chef has been in your shoes, could do a better job at filling them than you, but can get you to be as good as her. The sous chef has an eye on the chef's job, but never lets on. That sous chef, he's good at being all things to all people.

        It's a hard position.

Being a sous chef has little to do with the title and all to do with what you make of it.

    Step the fuck up, if you're the sous chef.

Want to be a sous? Then show me you're the sous. Want my respect?

Earn It.

Cook your ass off. Organize your station better than I would. Stop whining. Turn problems into solutions. Take challenges and ride them one handed. The bull threw you? Get up and get back on. Ask for help when you need it. Rally support that's available to you. Work cleaner every day. Create systems and implement them. Learn stations you've never known.

Get out of your comfort zone. You love working saute but hate grill or pantry or pastry? Then get over there. Learn something new every day. Ask questions of those who you think know less than you, and those who know far more.

Being a sous chef is a verb. Conjugated. An action verb.

Manage like your life depends on it.

Because it does. I've seen kitchen coupes and they're not pretty.

Coax out all the best traits from your cooks and temper the not so good ones. Think every day about how you can better the kitchen. Still whining? Call yourself a line cook then. If you can't see beyond the space between your own eyebrows, you're not a sous chef.

A sous chef has eyes in the back of his head. She gets to the kitchen before anyone else and leaves last. He has lists upon lists and he's translated them all into Spanish too. A sous chef is the chef whether her chef backs her or not. Too scared to stand up to your chef? You're still a line cook.

        Middle Management Is Not For The Meek.

The sous chefs shoes are so large they need to be contracted out to a special cobbler. You own a notebook and you write everything down. Everyone's questions and suggestions start and end with you when you're the sous. She who is the sous has no friends. He who is the sous never rests.

In some restaurants the sous chef is the poor hack who will work all the thankless hours. The person who has no life anyway so what will a 90 hour week mean anyway? That sous chef is preparing your raw meat and seafood on the same cutting board. She comes to work hungover and he calls into work sick from the drunk tank. No one respects that sous chef, they just put up with said person.

There are sous chefs who sleep with someone to get the title. Or they've been working pantry for 10 years and it's time for a change. There are sous chefs who can't taste when the soup is burnt and their chefs expedite every night so it doesn't matter because everyone is asleep at the wheel.

But if you're a cook who wants to be someone one day

please

work somewhere where the sous chef is a verb in action. A graceful line cook. An efficient and supportive expeditor. A clean cook and a well versed gastronomist. An agile butcher and a humble dessert novice. A good communicator. A talented walk-in organizer. A person who can meet deadlines. A person who can do and think about dozens of things at the same time. A Juggler.

A sous chef can admit when he's wrong, and she can take flack for mistakes she didn't make.

A sous chef is building a stronger ego. Every day. Adding a stick to the nest.

For when she has to hold onto that heavy capital letter C. For when he has to truly step up and man the stoves and steer the ship. For when she has to keep the restaurant from hitting the rocks even though she knows every night will be a rocky ride.

    For our industry,

no matter how organized, how efficient, how passionate, how prepared, we are; how good at being listmakers, how many t's we cross and i's we dot, how we show up every day more prepared than the day before,

is full of inexplicable turbulence. Adrenaline, tears, sweat, fear, tears seep out of our pores. And then. We try and go to sleep.

And wake up. And do it again.

It's the game.

Can you play it?

I'm so tired of sous chefs who not only don't know what they're doing, but have no idea even what it means.

Sous. Under. Beneath. Second-In-Command.

You chef is absent? Step up. Your kitchen is dysfunctional? Try and help it out. Payroll is bouncing? Go to the labor board and collect pamphlets in Spanish and English. Know your rights too. The owner is sleeping with all the waiters who are filing sexual harassment suits? Do the right thing. The proteins are being stored at too warm of temperatures? Ice them down. There aren't enough stock pots? Go buy one and get paid back or don't.

    Remember: it's your job to solve problems, not just notice them.

No one in the kitchen knows how to manage worth a damn? Think back. Who was your most favorite grade school teacher? Which high school math teacher turned you on to geometry? Did you ever have a chef who you thought brought out the best in you? That chef appeared to have done it without working too hard. Magic hands. Psychic powers. Was mean, with love.

Conjure that person, those people. Learn from them and attempt to transmit. Consider yourself a vehicle for one very hard life lesson. You may have to crash into the same wall over and over to learn it, but it's there for each of us to learn, if we choose to.

The sous chef must also know the cuisine the chef is making. Even if said cuisine doesn't come naturally to sous chef. You don't have to love the dishes, but you better be able to like and taste and feel them because it will be your job to execute the chef's wishes down to a grain of salt when the chef walks away from the line, restaurant, kitchen.

Don't know anything about the chef's palate? Ask questions. Have no comprehension about why the chef has chosen to work within the confines of this cuisine? Ask questions. Want to know more about the ineffable why and not just the boring hows? Ask questions.

The chef wants you to learn more slowly? Go to a library. Make Google your friend. Buy cookbooks. Eat at other similar restaurants. Learn something for fucks sake. A good sous chef knows her place and he knows when the pool exceeds his height.

Know lineage. Who did that chef work for before? The sous chef must climb inside the portal of the chefs mind.

The sous chef must be both omniscient and naive. Smart and stupid. Egomaniacal and humble.

When you're the sous chef it's your job to support the whole kitchen. The pantry guy is in the weeds? Pick parsley. Dishwasher is down? Get out the toolbox. Dishwasher walked out? Roll up your sleeves.

If you want to be The Chef one day, being sous is your practice. If you want to own your own place one day, being sous is your practice. If your culinary education is sorely lacking in the sweet area, go in on your days off or an hour early and help the pastry chef out.

Favors are usually returned with favors.

Sous Chef.

Two small words. Monosyllabic. Innocuous. Mild mannered words. Well dressed, shirts tucked in. Good haircut, but not too expensive. Stands tall. Excellent posture. Easy voice & diction. Polite but not a doormat. Jazz club with a dress code. A-line skirt. Monogrammed stationery. Thank you notes and modest affect.

But Superman by night. Cat Woman after a blink of a quick change. A yes man and girl friday. Firefighter and single mom.

Sous Chef. You are invisible to the public. The chef's seamlessness and greatness is your pride. The kitchen's loyalty is your medal. The systems you leave behind are your gift.

Your integrity is yours to keep.

25 May 2008

Writing & Leaving Comments on Eggbeater, and other blogs too.

Dear You,

    Hello. Have we met? My name is Shuna and I am the author, owner, chef, writer, photographer, recipe tester, friend, confidante, father, reader, pastry chef, user, fact checker, editor, copy writer, publisher, floor sweeper, designer, poet, human being, listener, pillow, magician, dishwasher, carny, family, suggestion taker & answerer, promoter, event planner, advocate, mother, scout, community organizer, and all around everything for Eggbeater. This here is my blog, home, muse, friend, companion, experiment, book, food, buoy, compatriot, alter ego, evil twin sister, art, visual food, delight, love, heart and so much more for which there are not enough adjectives or words.

    Please consider your comment before you hit the button called send or publish or post. Please read your comment aloud to the person in the next cubicle (much of the blogosphere's traffic comes Monday - Friday during business hours), or room, or send it to someone you know who can give you honest feedback about your tone.

    Remember that email renders your tone murky at best, and various languages structure humour differently.

    Think of it like this: You go to someone's house. You have never met said person but you are going to a dinner party and you will be with people you know and people they know. People may not know your last name but they are trusting that because you have a few shared interests you will enjoy going to a new person's house. And everyone is looking forward to being fed by someone else for a change.

    During the dinner party would you wait for an opening to attack the host you've never met? Would you critique their food and tell them that's the worst outfit you've ever seen on a person?

    Please take a look around Eggbeater. You are in an ad free space. I am not asking your for donations or trying to sell you lowfat mayonnaise. When I direct you to my Paypal link it's because I am offering a service: I am a chef and a teacher and I teach because I love to teach, but also because I pay my own way and have been since I was 14 years old. I do not have a husband or wife who supports me financially when I want to take time off from paid work to follow my passions. My passion has to offer me a living, or else I cannot afford to do it.

    Moderating comments, and your knowledge that I do so, means that those of you who write nasty comments do so to hurt me intentionally. Many of you, I'm sure, have begun to notice that I am editing comments when they appear to be solely for the purpose of advertising, fighting, being mean or posting misplaced comments/questions on posts. If I have time I am answering your questions and queries a new way: in the body of your comment I am writing to you specifically in italics.

     Eggbeater means a lot to me and I am working hard to ensure it's a place for dialog, question asking, constructive criticism and critique, information sharing, education and all around basic good-hearted silliness when we all need a break from the hard stuff.

    I'm not afraid of confrontation but I expect a fight to mean something, not just defending myself against a meaningless attack. If you look closely, if you really read my words, you'll see that I spend a lot of time looking at, pondering, questioning and taking responsibility for my part in all situations whether they be joyous, challenging or difficult.

    Remember that beyond your own computer screen, keyboard and the fingers you use to type out the words you send, is a human among humans. I am a person with feelings and so are my other readers, many of whom who have been reading and following along since the beginning.

     Eggbeater is me and I am Eggbeater. It doesn't get much simpler than that. If you can't play well or nice you will be ejected from the sandbox and other blog authors who have any self-respect/ control over their content/ self-esteem will do the same.

    Please consider respecting my house rules, they are not unreasonable. I ask the same of those who enter through my front door, work alongside me, or sit in my classes, and I, in turn, give a whole hell of a lot back, through Eggbeater and also in life.

    Thank you for reading.

    Shuna fish Lydon

 

16 May 2008

Group Dynamics. In Kitchens & Everywhere Else In Life.

I am having a hard time. A lot of people I know are having a similarly hard time and so maybe it's time to be having a hard time. I am trying to see and understand where I fit and don't appear to fit in my job, the kitchen, among cooks, with chefs, in the industry as a whole, and all the invisible crevices in which ickinesses take up residence if we're not careful.

I attempt to be as honest with my weaknesses as I can, without creating a ladder from which to climb over the bridge on. It's not easy finding one's way in the maze that kitchens seem to be, what with everyone's egos and conflicting opinions and inability to let go of power and so forth. What's ironic is that I've had two major conversations with "new cooks" recently and each one said to me,

"It should just be about the food. Why can't people just let go of their ego and pettiness and see that it's the food and the food's integrity that's the most important?"

But nothing is ever just about the thing at hand, if humans are the ones creating those things.

Some days I want to go back to being a cook with no worries but my station and the impending service. I want to be able to live without thinking I needed health insurance or heat in my house. Was life simpler then? No, it was filled with hand-to-mouth worries and no room to rest or exhale. And yet, through the mind's eye it looks like a better, less emotionally complicated time.

It's the understanding and X-ray vision of the group dynamic that kills me. Keeps me awake at night. Provides too much fuel for anxiety and separates me from the pack. I don't want to follow people blindly. I want to support the owner and the vision and add something real to the mix. I enjoy setting down roots and if a job is just a job I can barely do it effectively.

My problem is that I see every business as my own and I treat it and its overall operations as such. You could say I am the best employee to have, or the worst, depending on who you are as an owner. Translated, as a good friend of mine who has owned a business for 29 years would say, "You work too hard."

The concept is that I can help save the day. {yes, I know this is delusional.}

What if I knew that it was all out of my control? Would I look like the I'm-just-here-for-the-paycheck person? Or could I be the it-rolls-off-my-back-like-a-duck person?

When people ask for my opinion, I give it. Maybe I need to start being opinionless. I could wear a kind of sunglasses version of this attitude. If no one sees my opinions then they won't ask me to participate in the solution.

Kitchens have an intriguing learning curve. A person can learn very fast and become learned and aware if paying close attention. It takes a long time to have the full skill set of Chef, but unless one has an intentional trajectory/ plan for their learning, stagnation occurs and complacency sets in. The learning curve looks like a hill but really it's more like a train. The locomotive follows along the terrain but at some point said train goes into, and through the ground. Learning becomes deeper, more intuitive, and hopefully, less reactive.

It can also help to have some basic understanding of how unionizing does and does not work. I'm not talking about unionizing in the workplace, per se, but the dynamics of management vs. non management plays itself out in a number of ways. If you don't know how to read the writing on the wall, when people (co-workers or your boss) are trying to get rid of you, triangulate, use/ turn you into a rat, blackball you or close the business without you and any of your cohorts suspecting, you can constantly find yourself mystified of how you ended up where you are.

Have you ever watched a full season of 24? Then you have been schooled.

`

    I will give you an example. I used to work at a large, high profile restaurant where perfect was what you were trying to achieve every day. No one ever thanked you or told you you were doing a good job and if no one humiliated you during a given shift, you were doing alright. Service was long and hard and even though your scheduled arrival time said 3 you got there at noon and were in the weeds well after the first ticket came in. You were lucky if you were out of the kitchen by 2 am.

    I had the lead position on a two man station. The pastry department employed over 5 assistants and we were organized in order of ability. The pastry chef was A and I was C. I began working with a young man who would fill position D/E. One day the pastry chef took me into the office and read me the riot act for being too hard on said young man.

    It seemed amazing to me that the pastry chef, who was violent, bad tempered and mean just for the sake of being mean, was calling me out for riding this very young (in years and in cooking experience) cook. Also, he had come from working in garde manger where the sous chef who presided over them was infamous for his acts of physical and psychological violence. (He had been in the military before this restaurant.)

    To be clear about the subject of meanness in kitchens: some chefs sound mean but they are only trying to get the food out. Others are mean just to see how much denigration you can handle. The latter chefs are attempting to give you more stress than you can handle to counter-balance the real stress of making food fast and well enough for their liking and the clientele's expectations. Although there's one catch here and it lives in the grey area of abuse in kitchens: if you work in a kitchen where you are never yelled at, addressed, pushed, ridden, and/ or encouraged, you are not on the radar of the chef and sous chefs and you should go to a kitchen where someone notices you. Or the chef knows she/he's a shoemaker and on some level you know too, so people leave you alone lest you show someone above you up. (In which case you should get out of said kitchen because you have little to learn if your chef and/ or sous chefs are mere pretenders.)

    It's a fine line between these different mean-nesses, and it takes a lot of years on the line to really know, or be able to discern the differences, when face to face with mean chefs.

    I thought a lot on the problem at hand, concerning this whiny cook. If a child throws a temper tantrum every time s/he wants something, or tells on fellow students just to get the teacher's approval, s/he learns that this is the way to get what they want or to get through issues. But children don't see the bigger picture, they can't, because their world only exists because they're in it.

    I've worked in some kitchens where two cooks did not get along and the chef solved the problem by saying if they couldn't get along they would both be fired.

    I did something else. When a governing body is pitting two seemingly opposed groups against each other, it can be because that governing body doesn't want anyone to notice how corrupt it is. But when two enemied groups become allies, their force is that much stronger.

    One day I went into work and made that young man into my ally. By the time I left that kitchen, mr. D/E was fiercely loyal to me and we worked incredibly well as a team. The kitchen at large was mystified. What I did, the methods I employed, were subtle but tried and true. I had not thought of them myself, I merely employed them. You could say I babied or coddled him, but what lay beneath was much more complex.

`

Once I have seen, and experienced, I have learned. Not to say I'm perfect or can't learn any further in any or all areas, but once I know something I can't go back to not knowing. I can't go back to pretending I don't know why a department or restaurant is losing money. Can't not see who despises whom and why certain mis en place always goes missing. Can't not take inventory and track sales and be concerned with cost of goods and attempt to reach out and teach those who are still green and help the dishwashers and communicate with the front of house and want the best parts of people to shine.

Can't stand still.

Until I'm in front of the mirror.

And then all goes black.

In this economy, in this small town that is the Bay Area, in my industry as a whole, I am seeing some trends I wish I did not see, I wish I did not know, I wish I could go back in time and not experience first hand. I wish I had more hope right now, but I'm sorry to say that I don't.

09 May 2008

Baking In A Still Oven.

Means that baked goods don't rise as much.
In fact,
such baked goods, might, in fact
melt
before they rise.
    So, be warned.

Is such still oven, with which you are attempting to bake in, such baked goods,
just happens to be
the "service oven" for the line, you know--
the line, on which nothing ever stops, and no one ever rests,
and you,
who can only be
in the way
needs to crouch down and reach deep
within its very hot metal walls and shelves
to retrieve such melting baked goods,
things can get a bit hairy,
to say the least.

[please don't drop that fried chicken on my head, you pray]

Baked goods love convection ovens, and in turn, convection ovens get their,
not unsubstantial egos,
stroked by light and domed and airy and perfectly browned and
        evenly cooked and crisped and toasted and caramelized and
uniform in every which way,

baked goods, so that the two
shall never separate  {literally, but also figuratively}
consensually.

Still ovens are quiet beasts.
But beasts, nonetheless.
And baked goods, like Johns or puttanescas
like the ol'
to coin A Clockwork Orange
    in-an-out.
Of course there's always a turn.
Top to Bottom
or switch
or,
'I've gone and now it's your turn,'
sort of thing,

They are like guilds, or
marriages or agreements or pairs or,
in maybe less binary terms,
at one with each other's needs, even if there are many others with which they are all at one together.

Still following?

The convection oven has many shelves, many possibilities. There is no
"place pan on middle rack" stagnancy.
For many many cookies can share legroom and not get a crick in the neck while baking if, let's say, with
muffins and cakes and tuiles and even the odd re-heat who happens to join in on the fun.

But the still oven?
[insert grave music. or sound effect to imply gravity]

O  Still Oven. Where is the love? The care? The, "You used to notice when I put on a special outfit for you?"
Where are the sweet nothings? You used to notice when my edges were burning before my middle was golden. You used to make me feel so good when you could swallow a whole sheet-pan at a time.

But now?
I will confess.
I know why I left you.

No amount of creaming butter into sugar into eggs one at a time,
no creaming until light and fluffy and aerated and beurre pomade and emulsifying just right,
can make baked goods rise, proud, like the delicious creatures they will soon be, but
as it needs to be noted,
it is one's eye perceiving deliciousness first
and if flattened cupcakes and concave muffins are spotted,
what more can be said for even crumb, and crispy edge top
when
flat
is what the still oven produces.

O still oven.
You are spited. And there was woe
across the land
for all baked goods
could be heard exclaiming
we are doing all we can do in the stand mixer! here us out! it's true! we do not lie!

The Still Oven.
That stands on The Line
whose door is opened and shut more than an angry couple's on payday in the summer with the only pool on the block and five small children
cannot bake evenly
cannot take care and whirl the wind around, and create
       a n t i c i p a t i o n

                ahhhhhhhhhhh

what will come of this yellow cake? how will these little cocoa cakes perform with yogurt and baking soda? what will the shape be like for those precious little loafette pans?

And the Still Oven
remained still, like a workhorse, a service oven for
plates and chicken and quiche and bacon and cornbread in big black skillets and everything else that might be getting cool, sitting on The Pass,
and sighed out, slowly

Alas, I am a Still Oven.
I make no guarantees.
I am hot, I am wide, I have two shelves,
That Is That.
Such Is Life.

And the baker,
she sighed too, heavy with the weight of every-kitchen-has-a-challenge
you cannot fight
you can only work with
and said,

Oy Vey.


10 April 2008

Chef Owners Who Work The Line.

Did that get your attention? Can you remember the last time you saw a chef owner on their own line? Oh I'm sure there are hundreds of thousands of restaurants everywhere where this is the case. But in my own 15 year career it's been rare.

I don't think it's where the chef should be all the time-- it neither makes sense for her to be on the line every night nor him to never be on the line, but it's a powerful sight to see the chef step on the line and blow everyone out of the water.

Let me tell you a story.

Many years ago I was the pastry sous chef at The French Laundry. That kitchen is insanely small. It's a little bigger now, and of course now it's part of an empire, but because the building is land marked there's not much else Thomas can do to expand what space exists. There are 3 lines and off to the side of pastry is where the cheese person stands.

The lines are like this: every station has a partner station. Fish & Amuse, Garde Manger/First Course & Meat, Cheese & Pastry. If you can count, this means that there are really only 6 people who can say they've cooked at The French Laundry. Everyone else is support staff-- and there are about 40 of those.

The year I was there (you can cross reference my resume here), an amazing person and cook named Eric Ziebold was the chef de cuisine. He was TFL's first ever sous chef and to this day I have never seen any one person work so many hours. (He, Thomas & Laura all put in 17-19 hour days, 7 days a week.) Everyone knows The French Laundry is an amazing restaurant, but few know why. It's easy to blame or praise one person, but the truth is that it takes a village.

Eric has a very interesting temperament. Read between the lines and you will see what I mean. His famous line was, "I'm an equal opportunity asshole." Or he would sidle up next to you real close and say, quietly, "Oh, is that how you do _______? Here at The French Laundry we do it like this," and then he'd gracefully move you aside and show you. It was with Eric's constant feedback that I learned how to and how not to manage. He reminded me that I had to do what felt right for me-- what was going to let me sleep at night?

        do I sound like I was in love?

One day Eric did something amazing. He was frustrated at how things were going on the hot lines. Eric was not a screamer, but he could be direct in a way that made you stop dead in your under-the-breath mumblings, shape the fuck up, focus and do it right. Thomas's approach was more like Chinese water torture-- he would repeat the same sentence over and over until he had what he wanted in front of him. Something like this:

"I need an agnolotti. I need an agnolotti. I need an agnolotti. I need an agnolotti. I need an agnolotti. I need an agnolotti. I need an agnolotti. I need an agnolotti. I need an agnolotti. I need an agnolotti. Agnolotti. Agnolotti. Agnolotti. Agnolotti. Agnolotti. Agnolotti. Agnolotti. Agnolotti."

You get the point.

So this night Eric was watching the line. At the time the kitchen was trying on a new expediting model that they later employed full time when there were more sous chefs: Thomas stood at the pass and Eric helped anyone on the line who was crashing hard or getting overwhelmed.

But Eric was pacing. Trying to understand why service was going so poorly. You have to understand this: there was no "talking" at TFL. It was a "call & response" kitchen. (Yes, much like the military.) Few sentences were uttered by anyone other than Thomas, and his were quite succinct as I've pointed out. Any response from us underlings that was not, "Oui Chef, or Yes Chef" had to mean something. If anyone could be prepped for that kind of job from another career it might be the people who write newspaper headlines, or surgeons and ER professionals.

Finally Eric says something that makes us all look up from our minute, detail oriented tasks. "You heard me, get off the line, all of you, I'm going to show you how to cook."

In my first 6 weeks at The French Laundry I saw a number of people get fired. Oftentimes right in the middle of service. It would go something like this:

TK: "What? What did you say? Excuse me?

Bye. Yes, leave, you're done. Yes, bye."

And a few times I saw him walk up to the sorry cook and, is his 6 foot + many-inches-of-adamantness-you don't-want-to-fuck-with way really make sure the cook stopped cooking. he wasn't physically violent-- he didn't need to be, his look and words were enough.

So when Eric asked the line to step away from their stations they all thought they were getting fired. it was quite a sight.

"No." Eric said to calm them a bit, "Stand over here, I'm going to show you how to put out this table, I'm going to show you how to cook, how to work like a team, how to put out just one ticket."

And then he did. He cooked every single course, by himself, with not another soul on the line touching sauce pots or spatulas or garnishes. He jumped this way and that, gracefully, using every part of his body, talking, admonishing, telling, teaching, showing, explaining as he went.

It was the most amazing thing I ever saw in a kitchen.

Eric took over the entire kitchen and cooked all those cooks under the fucking table. We were in awe and I have tears in my eyes and can't type fast enough to tell you this story now, more than 10 years later.

When the line resumed their positions, every single cook knew just who they were. Cooks.

You know why Eric was the very first sous chef of TFL? Because Thomas told all his line cooks the same thing on the same day. Line cooks who had been with him for years and others who had only just arrived.

"I am going to promote one person to sous. It's going to be the person who is already acting like the sous chef."

When Thomas made the announcement, half of his line walked out.

My industry will tell you life is black and white. It will whisper you dark nothings in the middle of the night. People have these words tattooed on their bodies. Everyone has scars that show and we all have scars that are invisible. 'This? This mark is from when I shaved off my pinkie on the mandolin but had to keep working because someone else had called in sick that day.'

But there's a lot of gray area too. Too much, if you ask me. These days I'm starting to think people should take a test before they open a restaurant.

It will be like a triathlon: you must work the line, well, if not stellar. You must understand and be able to explain one P&L statement. You must understand why raw fish and cooked meat cannot share the same bin in the walk-in. You must understand how to make cookies, one dessert with chocolate that's not a molten chocolate cake and it would be great if you knew the difference between panna cotta and creme brulee. The test would list a series of questions and you would be graded on how much responsibility you took for your own actions or the actions of those you hired. For bonus points you might have to research why all the restaurants in your location before yours failed, or cooking in and creating a menu for a kitchen with no Latinos (or your State/ Country picks for easy-to-exploit-able peoples.)

You get the drift. You? You're smart, right-- you understand that opening a restaurant means hours upon hours, days upon days, and years toppled on years ahead of you where these things will not be possible:

sleeping late, resting without a care in the world, taking on-the-fly vacations, turning off your cell phone, remaining oblivious to state, local and Federal labor laws, continuing to be absent or uncommunicative to your staff and diners, resting on your laurels or continuing to blame everyone else for your failures and weaknesses.

Opening A Restaurant is like stepping into an X-Ray machine. Are you ready? Wearing the right underwear? Did you floss the night before? Go on, buy those Altoids-- they'll fool a few people into thinking you haven't been drinking that morning.

I'm all fired up. Because it's been a long time since I worked with a chef who knew how to cook. On the line, where a chef has to spend some time, even if they don't for 45 years like our heroes.

I'm trying to get to the bottom of something: there are these "chefs" who say they're chefs because that word, that little innocuous word, means something to them that it doesn't mean to me.

Being a chef is hard work. Opening a restaurant is harder. If it's fame you're after there are easier professions to get there. Or just pull a few stunts: America loves people who are brave enough to do stupid shit.

My questions are these:

If you don't LOVE food, like head-over-heels-I-can't-see-that-you're-an-axe-murderer-love, why are you cooking? Wouldn't you rather have a 40 hour week with benefits and work in a bank?

If you don't want to taste and smell and eat and learn about every fruit and chocolate and nut and fat, then why are you pursuing a pastry career path?

If you don't want to cook and clean and solve problems and figure out new, more efficient ways of doing things and feed people you've never met and learn from everyone you've hired and challenge yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially:

Do Not Open A Restaurant.

    /There are no shotgun restaurant openings. Restaurants don't break condoms and there are no rabbit tests for persons knocked up with a restaurant.

    Restaurants aren't opened in black outs and you can never ever use the excuse, "I didn't know what I was doing, I was drunk when I opened that restaurant."/

I'll leave you with this crazy thought: What if there were less restaurants in San Francisco & the Bay Area? What if these fewer restaurants hired all the cooks and exchanged them when someone wanted to learn something else, something new? What if less of these restaurants were cookie cut-outs of other long time Bay Area restaurants, and we had more kinds of cuisines and techniques employed and that way diners would be happier and so would so many of the local cooks who are leaving for other, more competitive cities because so many of the kitchens here do exactly the same formula, even if it's great? What if all these restaurants could thrive because there was just a little less competition? The cream rises to the top, right?

We already know these things:

There aren't enough people to fill non executive chef positions in the Bay Area. There are less than 1 million people on a peninsula that has, more than once, felt and seen the effects of a devastating economic downturn. Culinary schools are, for the most part, lying to their check-signers and future graduates about what kind of job and at what pay rate they will see after spending their 40+ thousand dollars. New mandates have just been set in place in San Francisco which will, and have already begun to, have a negative effect on restaurant owner's already low (1-3%) year's pay out, net.

There are no workers because everyone wants to be the boss. Or they want to feel like the boss. Or be called the boss.

Not me, I don't want to wear a title I polish everyday, like an obsessive antique car refurbisher. I like my fitted jacket, yes, but I work in it. I don't own my own place because I know what goes along with it. I don't want to be a single parent.

Words mean nothing without elbow grease. Show me a chef who knows how to cook, how to lead, how to delegate, how to be humble and proud (not either/ or), how to keep a restaurant afloat financially, how to make delicious food, how to know when it's time to say, "Hey I need help, I need suggestions or I need this now!" and I will show you my loyalty. I will respect you and return the favor by not cutting corners, by keeping my workplace clean and organized, tasting my food and accepting criticism, costing out my plates, treating the equipment like it's not disposable, delegating, admitting when I'm at fault, and by being humble enough to say when I can't or don't understand how to do something.

-----

This post is dedicated to the chefs who inspired it: TH, ML, TK, EZ, SB, MLH, JC, GS, JB, DK, PC, CF, HH, all of whom I have had the honor to work with and for, and some of whom I continue to know. And DC, whom I have never met, but whose words brought me both to tears and many hand gesturing exclamation points recently.

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