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« Menu for Hope III, Prize Winners Announced! | Main | Manresa Dinner »

17 January 2007

Comments

Ah, Shuna, so eloquent and raw. I hope that this is helping you; it is definitely helping me as I continue to reassess my own situation (as mentioned in a previous note) and continue to try to rebuild some semblance of the professional confidence I used to have.

you know, Chef, if you keep picking it'll never heal. you shouldnt have fought with them in the first place, it takes two to tango, right? and another thing, what necessitated 14 hour days? your menu was interesting but didnt look that complicated...cant the pantry guy make the hot chocolate and scoop the sorbet? i understand that if youre not there at night to supervise the hot side will eat the cookie platters and straight from the homemade gelato. didnt they have an night expediter/management for adult supervision and quality control? did they sell some huge banquets at the last minute? typical. are you making your own goats cheese and growning your own wheat? i dont get it...were you working the lunch and dinner shift? there's lots of illegal labor out there, they work long and hard, great people...have your new boss exploit a couple to take the "heat off", everybody does it. if it wasnt for central america there wouldnt BE any bay area scene. i enjoy your site whenever the time. i have been working here in the bay area for 7 years, most in pastry and have met some shady folks but i wouldnt talk about them in a blog, in case you ever wondered. cole porter used to have a throw pillow that read, "never complain, never explain" now, THAT's heavy!

Wanting to be treated like a person isn't a bad thing. If everyone stood up for it, that part of the business would change (a little).

Of course, in the post-game analysis, all of us here in TV land are curious as to why you parted ways the first time. Did it have anything to do with that terrible woman?

Shuna:

I remember being there, too. I don't think, though, that anyone gave up on you. I think it would be more correct to say that you all gave up on the relationship. It's hard for me to explain, but I've come to believe that relationships with other people sometimes must come to an end because there is no way to continue to grow and move forward. I'm not sure "giving up" like this is bad; perhaps it's just a recognition that things don't work anymore, and you're all moving on. I've concluded that one of the ways to heal after something like this is to remember the good things and allow yourself to grieve the end of the relationship--it tempers that feeling of betrayal so that you still feel it, but it doesn't leave that bottomless pit in your heart.

You're headed in a good direction. Take care of yourself and give yourself plenty of time to work through this. It takes a long time.

Jennifer

Oh Shuna,

I don't know what to say but congratulations and hugs on self-awareness. Remeber this; SuperMan *would* crawl home, broken and bleeding, to fall apart in his lover's arms.

There are leaders and then there are managers. Leaders feed the thouroughbreds oats and sweet hay, and groom them well, then put them out to run and win.

Managers, examine every oat and give more hay than oats, tell the horse to shower themselves, and get ready to run again today because someone else got scratched in the 4th.

You're a thoroughbred being taken care of by managers. Most of us rarely have the chance to be lead. Time to be lead Shuna.

I just think its sssoooooo hard to be creative when youre exhausted,and to be productive when you're exhausted. Working too many hours pushing yourself too hard just makes you unhappy, and bitter. Too much burnout in this industry. 100 hour weeks wow thats intense everyone needs balance, you need to recharge your batteries and let go of theses circumstances, they couldnt even look you in the eye at the end. Too much ego i just think its over cause the owners cant reconcile what it takes to have a great pastry chef. It takes respect for the whole separate sweet kitchen, physical help with production, and letting go of some control since the chef hired you to do ,what he cannot...
i hope for you a happy new year with many opportunities,what a great blog ..such a unique thing to share a strangers pain. Has it occured to you that you didnt fit in there for all the right reasons?.In this industry finding a good fit in the workplace is totally awesome! Good luck,please keep writing.

Ok, I have to be careful now, so that you don't misunderstand me.
This is your blog. You can write whatever you want. I think so myself. But:
When you write about private stuff, you protect the people (rightly so). You don't write names. You tell your emotions, the good and the bad, because you choose to do so, and it is ok and you protect the people you are writing about.
But all of a sudden, in this thing going on here (as right or wrong as it can be, because we are hearing only your side), you are writing about two people and a business, fully named, about stuff that happened between you. Uhm, maybe they wouldn't like to read all about this in a blog as widely read as yours? What about their privacy? Ok, it was mainly a business relation you had, but you yourself keep telling it was also personal. Why aren't you being more discreet?
Any hiring can come to an end. How would future employers think about hiring you, if they are aware of this blog?
I am not talking about legal stuff etc, just about commonsense and if you really find it acceptable writing all this about Mourad and Farnoush, after all your hurt and anger is over.

This is a raw and revelatory post. You have turned yourself inside out to examine what worked and what failed. Now you can start re-building yourself into someone stronger, more self-assured, more open to criticism, more confident of his abilities.

I have been through this crisis of self more than once in my life. Each time I have come out a better person, although the process was ugly and gut-wrenching. I wish you peace and healing and revelation and joy.

Shuna,
May the often torturous tasks of self-reflection and auto-critique bring you the peace that you deserve.
Thank you for a glimpse into your personal journey. As always, your words are poignant and inspirational.

One great song says, "We're all sensitive people," and another says, "Everybody plays the fool, there's no exception to the rule."

We all make mistakes, sometimes even when we are trying hard not to.

And another song says, "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try all over again--you've gotta have heart!."

You may not be superwoman, Shuna, but we think you are a great tryer with a great big heart!

Dad and Ellen

Four and a half years ago, I wanted out of my industry. I felt like it drained the life right out of me, and all that was left was a dessicated shell. I went so far as to plan a move from San Luis Obispo to San Diego, not knowing what I would do for money, but knowing I needed a change.
When a friend in San Diego heard of my move, he made me a job offer in the same industry that I couldn't refuse. I would be making near double what I was making, and I could take a severely damaged product and make it an award winner again.
I took the job. I fixed the product. And now, I'm back to the same old feelings I had before.
However, this time, I feel better about my decision to leave. I know now that my leaving wasn't just about the particular situation I was in at the company in SLO; it was the industry I had outgrown. And, as much as it is painful to realize I made a mistake by not leaving originally, I know I needed time to examine who I was and what I wanted and learn that this industry doesn't fit me anymore.
Closure. That's what I needed. Perhaps you needed it too, and that's why you went back.

Your self-reflection in seeing your part is really all that you can do. Expecting others to see their part, or even care to, is a bit ideological. Obviously Farnoush doesn't have the level or will
to process, get to a unity and move on. There is
a saying that I believe fits in quite well here:
"expectations is just pre-meditated resentment".

As a professional Interior Designer who worked
for major firms in the hotel design industry I've
experienced huge egos. I've been through all sorts of disappointments and incredible opportunities. The subjective ego cannot see
another subjective ego as you can only see your
own level. Looking at things objectively requires
the humble desire to grow and "take what you want and leave the rest". It's just "life and life only".

So my comment didn't make it through the moderation. Interesting but also dissappointing. You were so open with how you felt, why can't you be open with some honest critic from the outside?


Your pain still sounds so raw. I have been around a long time, and
made many career mistakes, but the one thing that I do know is that
good sincere people do not always flourish in every situation. I hope
your passion carries you into a happier situation
Mickey

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