40.

40

years ago my I have a feeling my mother was really happy to finally eject me.
I was a month late.
and after Bob Dylan, many puzzles put together every day, and eating a lot of fucking chocolate cake,

later

I was born at this time, on this fine day

{ The First Day of Spring. Every year. And don't argue with me. No. Shhhh, it's rude to argue with the birthday woman. }

in San Francisco General Hospital.

I was born with a full head of hair and, as the story goes, my mother looked down at me and said,

"Where did this Eskimo baby come from?" I was a big 'un.

And then she named me something besides the name you see here.
No.      /I've said too much already. 
But a few hours went by and she looked down at me and said, "You're not a ________, you're a Shuna.

And there I became.

/hopefully my father will speak for himself in the comments. Hey Dad-- what was the first thing you said? Come on now, it's time for one story-only-you-can-tell from March 20, 1968!

Arriving right on the cusp, between the final and first sign,
and, perhaps having something to do with an initial name change, I was destined to confuse people.

Keep them on their toes. Live Outloud.

TODAY.

40

years later
I can say that my life is full.

Like Persephone, I feel Spring is my season and my duty, to bring in, notice, and celebrate. Even the Persians know it's my birthday. Look at all that feasting they're doing!

40

Years later I'm back in the Bay Area, living moments from some of my first homes. I live in the best treehouse in Northern California. I have the best, most loving, absolutely funny & honest & real friends a fish could ever want.

Ten years ago on this day, at 30, a man I greatly admire shook my hand and said, with slightly raised eyebrow, but much gravity,

"Welcome."

And then I bought my first non-ironic pair of old school adidas,
and I've never looked back. Will forty be different? I think so. As someone said to me recently,

"At forty there's no denying you're not young anymore."

It's a good thing the number 4 is my favorite number, that's all I'll say. I've always knew that four was strong, had good posture, could sustain a high level of levity mixed with firm seriousness, and, best of all,

the number 4

is orange. Yes. I'm sure of it. It's not like 5 which can sometimes be black or lipstick fire engine red.

4

has always been orange.

And so I'm happy to be entering my 4 tieth year because it just means that I have a lot of lovely, delicious, striking shades of orange to be introduced to.

And it means that it will help me get used to this very large number. 40. I figure if I write it down enough I'll get used to it. Yes. That's what I'm saying to try and convince myself. Please don't argue with me. No, stop it.

I'm ok.

In fact I'm so happy to be turning forty I decided to celebrate by allowing someone to make my birthday cake for me this year. And I am being gracious by allowing 4 of my friends to take me out to eat one of my favoritest people's food. One of the best people there ever was has come all the way from Alabama and I'm going to put a big smile on my face and force her to make biscuits.

/and to start the day out right, a few of us crazy chickens are going to a little place in Oakland for anything, because it's all delicious, if not dangerously so.

I'll be with the people I love most in the world. Except for the London holdouts. And the Portland family. The Seattlites all have stories that check out... The Floridians say I should just get there for Passover. A fabulous cousin in Australia said she missed the one non-stop train and there all those New Yorkers who are always complaining about how busy they are. Not to mention the NYC to LA transports. Whatever. It's not like you haven't had a save the date in your calendar for, like, 10 years.

I'm only going to turn 40 once.

And thank goodness for that, right? Next year I'll be even wiser.

*

Happy First day of Spring Ya'll!
Celebrate today with wild abandon! Kiss and tell! Dance in the streets!

40.

yes.

 

 

Comments

[Sergio]

Happy Birthday, Shuna.

[Liz]

HAPPYYYYYYY
BIRTHDAYYYYYY

This was the most beautiful birthday post I've ever read. Thank you for cheering up my day.

[JM]

HAPPY DAY!!

[shauna]

Yes indeed, my dear.

40 rocks, kicks the shit out of puddles and rocks in the way, dances in the kitchen, laughs out loud, and never fails to surprise.

41 ain't bad, either.

Thanks for being born, my dear. You took your time getting here, but here you are.

[kayenne]

ooh!!! you like adidas too!!! happy birthday, once again! i'm glad that you are one of us who doesn't shy away and hides her age! there is something to be said about grace and serenity.

[Starre]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
You are born under the fortune card of the 3 of Diamonds
You always know right from wrong though sometimes you may try to ignore what you know
powerful minds with a powerful voice to match
Always benefit from change and travel
Must learn the value of being consistent with your love and affections
have a better chance than most to achieve a happiness that is not dependent on things in the world going their way
Welcome to 40

[holly landry]

am I the FIRST??? happy birthday, tempted to come meet you at Brown Sugar (I don't have meetings this morning) but anyway, you are those things and more, thank you for sharing your journey with me and then us...loveyou- holly, dana and claude

[Lydia (The Perfect Pantry)]

Happy happy birthday, Shuna! May your day -- and your year -- be filled with wonder, excitement, friendship, adventure, and cake!

[Dad & Ellen]

Happy Birthday, Shuna!! I remember your birth vividly--it took most of the night!! What I remember best is, when I came back to the hospital in the afternoon and held you on my lap, all wrapped up and asleep, I looked at you, so pink and sweet, and I fell in love with you, I could feel it happening. And in the forty (!!) years since then, that love has only grown. You're a wonderful person, a wonderful woman, and a wonderful daughter!!

[Lourdes]

Happy Birthday Shuna! :-)

[Katie]

Happy Birthday!

[Lori S.]

I think I just fell a little bit in love with Brown Sugar Kitchen. Uh oh.

Happy birthday!

[Dolores]

Happy "40" Shuna. (I'm right behind you...)

[Dolores]

Happy "40" Shuna. I'm three weeks behind you... celebrating my turning of the page at your alma mater in Yountville. :)

[T.]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Eat lots of cake for me.

[jennywenny]

Happy Birthday! And its interesting about the synesthesia. Do you have it for lots of things or just numbers and colours?

[Aaron]

Do I sense a minor obsession with Persephone? Maybe something you'll tell us about soon.
Happy birthday.

[Bee Eilenberger]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

[NS]

Happy birthday, and best wishes for a rewarding decade ahead!

[Emily M]

happiest of birthdays! you are an inspiration.

[Amy Sherman]

Happy Birthday Shuna! May your 40's bring your much happiness and good eats too.

xxoo

Amy

[devon]

*insert raucous, rousing birthday singing*

happy, happy birthday, shuna deeear,
happy days will come to you all yeeear!
and if i had a wish then it would beeeeee-e-e-e....
ahappyhappybirhtdaytoyoufromme!

holy mackerel, you're *4*0 today -- how completely fabulous! congratulations - you've just won another free trip around the sun. SCORE! =)

Happy Birthday, and Happy First Day of Spring, Shuna! *hug*

[Average Jane]

Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoy 40 as much as I am. :)

[Anita]

Happy birth day, dear Shuna. It's so right that you're a just-spring baby. I'm a few weeks ahead of you into this fifth-decade business, but as of yet I have no wisdom to impart about it. :D

thank you for reminding me that I love the glyph "4". I've always felt that three/3 was my number, but the shape of the numeral 4 is so fabulous, especially in old or fancy typefaces. 3 feels so cozy, but 4 has this dynamic off-balance thing going. I'm going to try and keep that in mind when I blanch at the idea of being 40.

[Kris]

Happy Birthday!!

40+ does indeed rock. I also love the number 4 but mine is blue!

[Jennifer Jeffrey]

Mmm, this lovely post made me think back to what you must have looked like wrapped up in that toasty little blanket 40 Marches ago... I have the sneaking suspicion that your eyes were just as bright & lively as they are today.

Spring = You.

Happy happy.

[Kung Foodie]

bok bok, said the fish

[Garrett]

Happy Birthday darlin!

[Toni]

Happy Birthday!

[lisa schiffman]

Happy, happy, happy, happy fortieth! What a gorgeous, life-loving post. I've got to disagree however, with whomever said to you, that at forty, there's no denying that you're young. Forty is young, it's just youth of a different sort. So take it all in, every single sweet, tangy, crisp, salty, smoky, bitter, sour, sexy, drop. Happy b'day. Lisa

Lisa

[kudzu]

Before I tell you how wonderful it is to be forty -- from a distance of years -- let me say I fell a little bit in love with your father for his beautiful tribute to your first day. Cherish that.

And cherish not just every year, but every day. Spring is a wonderful time to start a life and to keep one starting!

[Paul]

Happy Birthday!!!

Sorry you missed a great grillin' party.

[French Laundry at Home]

Happy birthday!

[Warda]

Happy Birthday, Shuna!
It takes a long time to grow young.
- Pablo Picasso

[keiko]

Happy birthday, dear Shuna!

[barbara]

Happy Birthday Shuna. I thought your Dad's comments was so sweet too.

[Tommy]

Happy Birthday! Here's to (at least) 40 more!

[bad home cook]

Still wrapping my head around the 40 thing. What's with the sagging skin and mystery aches when I'm not even a grown up yet? Congrats on the big milestone. It helps to repeat this mantra: What's the alternative? Embrace the fact that you're at home in your skin, and you no longer have to care how you look in a bikini.
Big fan of your blog, too.