Blue Bottle @ Mint Plaza, SF: I have been kissed by g-d.

My bank account and I have a psychic connection. It knows when I have wandered into the realm of danger. Various colored flags appear on my radar. There is orange for big alert like Garnet Hill and one-of-a-kind old school Adidas, and there's baby blue for the more innocuous butter sale. Purple is saved for subtle spending. A purple flag might go up if Mangosteens or Candy Cots or Mas Masumoto's peaches show up at Monterey Market. {Which they have, by the way, so go soon. Amazing, and worth the credit card dent.}

Today a red flag flew so high and so frantically it threatened to put all bullfighting in Spain out of business.

I walked into the Mint Plaza Blue Bottle Coffee for the first time this early foggy San Francisco morning.

And I will never be the same.

It was better when I was ignorant. When the NY Times knew things three thousand miles away that I didn't.
It was better before I saw those Tate Modern-esque orange chairs myself.
It was denial. Labotomized, nodding-out bliss when I never saw and drank and tasted manna from a discreet grey & sleek space in the elbow of a street that is no longer.

My psychic colored flag alert service had lain dormant until today, when a wail so fierce, so loud, so preposterously high pitched and electrically charged it scared even the San Andreas faultline.

Do not go here if you think the coffee you're drinking now will do.
Do not go here if the pastries you eat now are made by a baker who has had their butter license taken away.
Do not walk into this coffee bean laboratory if you think Silicon Valley has patented the word Geek.

Do. Not. Go. Here.
If your g-d is a threatening force, jealous lover-type, list-maker or task master.

Do not go here if you are following the tweets of my psychic connection. {It will crash your server and shatter all your (glass) windows.}

Blue Bottle Coffee in the newly minted bright and clean green Mint Plaza, across Mission Street from the San Francisco Chronicle, at the corner of Jessie and Mint streets

will serve you,
if you can pay up,
exquisite
delicious beyond reason
mocha. we had today and boy what balance! perfect pitch! sanded to perfection! color! sound! leaps! aroma captured!
drip coffee
espresso

and some crazy insane double breasted tie me up and cart me away
brioche, so buttery i was transported to Paris,
with musky speckled hazelnut heroin hiding inside, so as not to alarm the authorities.

Am I speaking in tongues?
I have been touched. Dancing with rattlesnakes.

But I might never be able to go back.
    will it ever be the same?

Maybe not. But I'll need to, you know, just try it again, not too soon, wait a few, um, hours, days, Weeks, before trying it out again. I'll let you know when I do.

Comments

[Lauren]

and they have a big vat of salty caramels by the register... it's a dangerous place :)

[magpie]

LOL - I didn't get to that Blue Bottle, but I did get a cup of fabulous drip coffee from their stand at the Ferry Market the other day.

And, I was really happy to get to meet you in SF!

[nicole]

I love Blue Bottle -- LOVE. I fear I addicted now, actually ... nothing else will do!

And I saw your mention in the Times y'day - congrats! How fun.

[Lori]

My friend Kristin and I visited on Friday morning and were similarly blown away; the decaf latte I had was so insanely good it's easy to imagine that the hi-test would be off the charts. I didn't get a brioche, but I did return on Sunday morning for another latte and asked a patron who got two if I could photograph his filter-encased jewels with my iPhone. :-)

['Chelle Parmele]

Oh my gosh! You make it sound like a little nosh of heaven!!

It was amazing being able to spend some time with you during the UnConference! I got so much from you and the rest of the people there, and it has energized me to look at things in a new and exciting way.

You. Are. Awesome.

Thank you! And I'm looking forward to reading through your blog! You have such a great voice in your writing.

[HeatherLyn]

I've been reading your blog for a while, and noticed via Twitter that we have Sarah Dopp in common as a friend. (she's nifty!)

I happened to be at 9th and Mission today and recalled reading this post earlier this morning, so actually walked from there all the way down to Jessie x Mint to get a mocha at Blue Bottle. HOLY COW. You were right, it's the best mocha I've ever had in my life. Well, also the most $ I've ever paid for a mocha in my life, but WHOO BOY is it worth it. Thank you for the recommendation!

[Jane]

Imagine what it's like when you work across the street from this place? I have been ruined ...

[Julie McCoy]

My friend Magpie Musing was in town for BlogHer, and I insisted she have Blue Bottle when she was here. I would have rather taken her to the kiosk or the Cafe, but we settled on the Ferry Terminal. She was blown away by the line of dedicated fans and the efforts made in every drink.
I'm glad you made it to the Cafe. It's an expensive habit, but it's totally worth it.

[Kung Foodie Kat]

Does this make me the devil? Okay...maybe just a little devlish...but we deserved it for the five times we circled Union Square, and for the grey hair I get everytime I drive thru downtown SF. After all that the cost didn't seem so high. I am WORTH it!

[Kung Foodie Kat]

Correction: WE ARE WORTH IT!