we don't get out much, but when we do, watch out. fuego!
am looking for suggestions on how chefs can pick up those in the greater public.
sure i could date a waiter or a host, but i don't want to look like i believe my own hype. it's so 5 minutes ago. it's been done. and done. I am not a Food Network star. but i want to look beyond the doors of a restaurant.
what do you think of these:
"Need your knife sharpened, baby?"
"Looks like you need a little extra seasoning in your life. I got the right kinds of salt."
"How about we quit this crazy service and pass out at my place?"
"Want to learn how to truss with me?"
"Wanna see my meat walk-in?"
"Do you know how to dance the Meringue?"
"I'm like a slow braised protein. A tender, succulent animal."
"Can I call you up again after midnight?"
"Mmmmmm, you smell like brown butter. Delicious."
"Wanna get together on my next day off, next month?"
"Meet your parents? Sure, show them the kitchen after dinner. I'll be there every night this week."
"You're the best thing I've seen all year."
"Damn! You dance like a headless chicken! I can't wait to pick your feathers!"
"Oooooh the insides of your arms are so smooth."
"You make me smokin' hot, like 220 all day."
"Maybe we could see that movie you were talking about next year?"
"I'll bring my knives, saute pans, stock pots, wet stone, side towels, roasting pans, balloon whisk, tasting spoon, ceramic honing steel, Maldon and grey salt, chinois, tamis and first press olive oil. You? Just watch. And clean up your house tomorrow."
"Let's trade: Your voracious for my rapacious."
"You make my highly sensitive palate water."
"How 'bout I cook dinner, and eat you for dessert?"
let me know if you come up with anything.
I'm open to suggestions.
-----> These recently in from the comments section:
"I can eat anything that you can put out" vincent mack
"Hey baby, fries come with that shake?" guy "Biggles" prince
and the one that made me fall out of my chair this morning (also from Biggles):
"Wanna do me for lunch?"
"wanna see my meat walk-in?"
...fantastic.
Posted by: Adam | 22 July 2008 at 08:44 PM
Way. too. damn. funny.
Posted by: Cyndi | 22 July 2008 at 10:39 PM
the brown butter line is my fave...possibly tied with the slow cooked protein line haha
brilliant
Posted by: Joseph Bayot | 22 July 2008 at 11:04 PM
this is from a male perspective, so deal...(like you haven't had plenty of it I'm sure)
Any big chef: "How you doin? wanna get a whopper?"
Any short chef: "Do you looove my faux hawk? I will keel you..with love!"
Southern chef: "Y'all like beef?"
New York Chef in Texas: "You all Like beef - ay! I'm talkin to the both of yuz!"
Bobby Flay: " Are you KIDDING ME? Look at me! I can grill your feet! Look at my nipples! That shirt would look better with a roasted red pepper vinaigrette on it. I make it in a blender. On a roof. You have awesome technique."
Christopher Walken as a chef: "I got a FEVAH.. and the only pahSCRIPRTion... is you...makin me eggs in... the morning".
Michael Ruhlman: "Why yes, it WAS me playing keyboards for JOURNEY in 1982. Didn't my hair look AWESOME?! We can go back to my place and you can touch it - put this cheesecloth over your hands."
Borat Chef: "I would like to have the sexual with you - meet my sister, she is one with camera"
Bourdain: "I can eat anything that you can put out"
Mine...
I'm not ready to let go of mine just yet.
Posted by: Vincent Mack | 23 July 2008 at 12:45 AM
One of my favorites, was from the movie Stranger Than Fiction. Not really a pick up line though. He met her (a baker he was just starting to date) late one night after closing and said 'I bought you some flowers'. He handed her an open box, and it was filled with little packets of different flours.
I giggle and go awww every time I see that part.
Posted by: stephanie | 23 July 2008 at 01:48 AM
Open to suggestions? I don't think you need any. What's funny about these - almost all of them sound like you. But, you know, so many different parts of you ...
Posted by: Athen | 23 July 2008 at 02:36 AM
"Can I call you up again after midnight?"
*shudder
ive actually said this
Richie! You get a big shiny gold star from me for letting us in on your little secret. xo ~ Shuna
Posted by: Richie | 23 July 2008 at 06:13 AM
that was HILARIOUS! i love it! shared this with a friend and she couldn't stop laughing!
Posted by: kayenne | 23 July 2008 at 10:31 AM
Oh man, that's great and the comments are giving me the giggles.
I have one, but thought of one while I was reading the comments. "Wanna do me for lunch?"
The one I have is too old, but it's mine and I owns it. "Hey baby, fries come with that shake?"
Cheers
Guy! These are apt and HILARIOUS! I am adding them to the post Right Now!! Thank you my delicious meat Angel. xo ~ Shuna
Posted by: Dr. Biggles | 23 July 2008 at 10:32 AM
Those are great! And I love Vincent Mack's too. Chef humor! Who knew?
Posted by: Alexis | 23 July 2008 at 10:55 AM
Wanna go for a ride in my Robot Coupe?
Posted by: Kelly | 23 July 2008 at 12:11 PM
My favorite:
"Looks like you need a little extra seasoning in your life. I got the right kinds of salt."
Salacious *and* funny. Just my style.
Posted by: Lori S. | 23 July 2008 at 02:29 PM
My chef said I should use this one:
"Dinner tastes better at my place."
Posted by: Weston | 23 July 2008 at 03:43 PM
"Order fire, two shots of tequilla and your phone number."
Posted by: Dana | 23 July 2008 at 04:27 PM
OH SNAP!
This is hysterical:
Wanna get together on my next day off, next month?
My last sous chef and I were like brother and sister (read: no sexual energy) and when things would get intense during service, he would ask me kind of quietly, "wanna make out?" and we would both die laughing and try not to die from service.
Needless to say, the newer servers working expo never got it.
Posted by: melvis | 23 July 2008 at 05:55 PM
Well, I was gonna post "Can I have some fries with that shake?" but someone beat me to it...like this phrasing better, though. And my wife says everything tastes better with brown butter on it, so that one is my fave of the original bunch.
That scene in Stranger Than Fiction was the best!
Posted by: Stuart | 23 July 2008 at 06:02 PM
What about??
For the ladies...
Are you happy to see me or is that a pepper grinder in your pants?
Or, for the fellas...
Wanna make like chocolate and melt in my mouth?
Or for everyone...
I have a awesome bananna split recipe we could try together...
Posted by: Chef Alex | 23 July 2008 at 08:29 PM
Biggles is priceless: such a guy approach.
(Whooops--pun alert!)
And Christopher Walken? One of my favorites, so weird and wonderful.
Posted by: kudzu | 23 July 2008 at 11:52 PM
I like "Meet me in the walk-in."
What better place for a quickie make-out session - dark, secluded. And it's easy enough to pretend you're looking for radishes if one of the line cooks walks in on you.
Posted by: Laurie Gauguin | 24 July 2008 at 04:27 PM
"Is it hot in here, or is it just the salamander, the grill, and the 18 burners? . . . or is it you?"
Anjanette! This is a Great one! So much can be done with it-- you have my mind racing. Thank you! ~ Shuna
Posted by: Anjanette | 24 July 2008 at 06:05 PM
"When are you gonna come by the restaurant and check out my biscuits?" I say this one regularly.
Rebecca, I'm glad I don't just objectify your biscuits, I know and love them. Every day of the week. ~ Shuna
Posted by: Rebecca Stevens | 24 July 2008 at 06:44 PM
Aw, thanks, Shuna! I'd love to read your variations.
Posted by: Anjanette | 24 July 2008 at 10:27 PM
Dana:
the lesbian oven cook at my work asks me to make out all the time. after I saw batman, I asked her if she wanted to see my "Robin."
Posted by: Richie | 25 July 2008 at 06:49 AM
I'm a fan of farmer's market one-liners:
"Should we go fondle some Early Girls?"
"Can I Dapple your Dandy?"
Standing in front of Hog Island:
"Me or a Kumamoto- you decide."
Posted by: Julie McCoy | 25 July 2008 at 12:11 PM
Hey Now! I just came across your website and couldn't stop laughing!
Posted by: Patrick Sanders | 18 August 2008 at 03:36 PM
"Oooooh the insides of your arms are so smooth."
reminds me of the time a chef i used to work for was talking about the crazy women at bars who get wet when they find out what he does...
"you gotta question their sanity....i mean, 'ooh, your hands are so rough and you're never around! i get so hot when you ignore me to work on your prep list.'"
Posted by: Jeffje | 19 August 2008 at 04:07 AM
I'm a baker and I like, "Want to nibble my cookies?"
Posted by: Claire | 20 August 2008 at 07:24 AM
Wanna juggle my peaches?
Posted by: Kerry | 20 August 2008 at 12:43 PM
"Love of you is mixed deep in my vitals,
like water stirred into flour for bread."
-- anonymous Egyptian poet, 11th-12th c. B.C.
Posted by: Yasmin | 03 September 2008 at 01:14 AM
Ha! Love the Ruhlman quote!
Posted by: Heidi from Savory Tv | 25 April 2009 at 06:23 PM
"That chef jacket would look better on my apartment floor" ;)
Posted by: Ivan Maminta | 20 September 2009 at 03:27 PM
So funny! that's the first time I've seen chef pick up lines...
:)
Here are more (regular) pick up lines, Curtesy of Funny Pick Up Lines:
Are you smoking? (No!) Oh, yes you are!
Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
You've been a bad girl. Go to my room.
I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
You look like my third wife! (How many have you had?) Two.
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street.
Was your father an alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out.
:)
Posted by: pick up lines | 02 October 2009 at 03:54 PM
Great post and comments! I can't say this one ever worked for me, but, Mmm, you taste so good I wanna deglaze your pan.
Posted by: Dsta | 28 October 2010 at 05:07 PM