Baking as Craft, a {tortured} love affair.

Baking.    Art, Craft, Alchemy, Arithmetic, Science, Intuition, Passion. 

Baking.
I'm married to it. Can't shake it. Leave it, go back. Forsake it. Take it back. Throw it in the river, say a prayer. Find it on my pillow in the morning.

Dream it, think it, feel it. Baking.
O Baking, who art thou?
Why do you torture me so? Take me deep into the water or leave me adrift.
But please, make up your damn mind.

Baking. I will love you always. You never cease to amaze me. Delight me. Flirt me right back into your body. Even when I know it's a really bad idea.
Even when I know Bad Things Will Happen.

You could say it's frivolous. Pleasure for no reason.  But for sugary flowers; a slap of frosting; quiet hedgerows of hand sculpted leaves; thousands of layers of flour caught mid waft by creamy butter and seared by steam; sugar in every variation from hard sharp hot molecule to midstream water clarity and then shattering razor caramel, pulled like yoga pose toffee or glass sculpture caught mid ballet act.
Sugar, forever muse, never wife.

I love you baking. Will you be mine?

No.

Baking is no one's and everyone's. CRAFT. Study it, work it, learn it, revere it, pray to it, honor it. Craft is never understood completely. Mastered, yes. Owned & understood, no.

You think you know baking. Because you do. For a minute-- Ha! Baking. Forever an elusive love, unrequited. Short term affair. Lasting a lifetime.

Unbound me baking! Never let me go. Love me forever.

Why me? Who am I to you?

Kiss me hard, sharpen the blade, slice me off clean.

Forget you ever heard of me, or tell me why you stay, whether in shadows lurking or calling me day and night and weaving your scent through my head, knotting hair, thick like saltwater.

I build the house, you make a cup of tea, ask me to bed without words.

We garden, you evaporate. Leaving me with a vase empty but for pollen on the rim.

Baking.
You knit me anew, unravel my senses, promise me what you cannot,        and I believe you like a virgin to love. India ink precariously at the edge of a needle. Tattoo me Baking.

Slit thumb,
speak not.
I am yours.

Tell me you'll love me forever,
    tell me you'll never leave

even if,    lies.

I can't unlock you, baking. Ate too many pomegranate seeds. Slid down the rabbit hole. Drank a tiny sip from a giant bottle. Took a pirate's swig from a teardrop glass.

Baking and me. Me and Baking.
We're in the ring for another round.

Place your bets.

Comments

[kelsie]

wow! you found yer words then?

[kayenne]

i know how you feel.

[Jeremy]

Shuna,
I loved that, I making a loaf of Miche, sure it isn't pastry but it's baking, thanks for inspiring!

[Kelley G.]

What a saving grace this has been but has not always felt like, the inability to "unlock" it, tame it, know it, figure it all out. In my darkest of days, my insane level of curiousity has been the thing which has saved me. Thank you for reminding me.

[Dad & Ellen]

A beautiful, soulful piece of writing--passion on the page describing passion in the kitchen. Three cheers for Shuna--you inspire many people, including us!!

[Sara]

Your words are lovely. Just lovely.

I have just given breath to my own modest food/words project, and as I've stayed up eleven nights in a row, brain spinning by the new world I've found, I am humbled by the sweet gifts that so many food-loving writers are giving me each day through their own sites. So, thank you.

And yeah, love hurts. I've got a chocolat chaud burn on my thumb to prove it.

[Anne]

i'm printing this out and taping it to the cabinet where my flour and sugar is stored. i fully plan on reading it every time a souffle collapses, or other such oven nonsense.

[Jean]

So that's what it feels like to be inspired by a muse! I had dinner with your parents, and your uncle & aunt, Patrick and Gladys last night (I spent a week in Callan last summer), and they told me about your blog. Love the poetry of your post. I just started blogging at MindfulEats.com (also about food but a different slant). If you have time to check it out, let me know what you think!

[Devorah]

This is so lovely and true about craft in general. Thank you.

[kathleen]

You've said it all. Your writing helps me make sense of the five test cakes I once attempted and threw away. I thought I was the only one. I am no longer alone.

[Ivonne]

Brilliant. Just Brilliant!

[Jane]

I love the way you write. This is a wonderful and beautiful post.