Dear Ungrateful, Pouty, Self-Entitled, Spoiled Cooks,
Did anyone ever teach you to say Thank You? Out loud?
When was the last time you noticed how accomodating, how helpful, how understanding, how supportive your chef, team, management was? Did you thank anyone? Out loud? Why not? What the fuck are you waiting for?
Have you stopped for one minute to take a look around? When was the last time you helped someone from another department, another station, another side of the kitchen? Do you know the names of the people you work with? Have you tried to learn any kitchen Spanish?
When was the last time you looked at someone else's list and asked them if they needed any help? When was the last time you taught something? Asked to learn something new?
Have you ever asked someone in the restaurant, not in your department, what the challenges of their job are, for them? Have you ever imagined yourself in the dishwasher's shoes?
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Let me tell you a story.
In late 1998 I found myself working at The French Laundry. Now you can say anything you want about that, but it would all be bullshit, unless you were there.
For all the glitter and gilt and faerie dust surrounding this famous restaurant, it was a small, mean, competitive kitchen in a town the size of an elbow in the middle of a mono-cropped valley dedicated to the growing of wine grapes. This meant that on my way to work I watched crop dusters spray poison quietly. This meant that on my way to work I watched tractors kick up soil and on my way home the same tractors, doing the same thing. This meant that on my way to work I watched hot air balloons ascend and thousands of Mexican men tend to the precious vines. It was idyllic and hell. Fake and real.
The winter I arrived the President declared a National State of Emergency for Napa. It rained and flooded and people's livelihoods were taken down the river.
And in the summer, Napa is hot. 120F from 7 am-10pm for 16 days straight hot. You don't pee or sweat or cry hot.
Thomas Keller designed the kitchen that you see today at his restaurant. Every detail thought of by him. Implemented, paid for, by him.
On the very first day I arrived at the restaurant, I noticed the windows. The French Laundry kitchen has windows.
So the day he installed an awning over the walk-in, which was outside, I noticed. That day I did not get soaking wet on my way to and from the walk in. I walked right up to my Chef, and thanked him. Aloud. We shook hands. Because that's how TK works. Manners. Old School. Proper.
I thanked him for the windows too. He looked bewildered.
"This is the first kitchen I have ever worked in with windows in the kitchen. Windows that were not sealed or blocked or locked. Windows that see out, windows that open, that's wonderful. Thank you for doing that, Chef."
You know why?
Because he fucking put them there, that's why.
Because he wanted windows for his staff, for his kitchen. His kitchen: his h o m e. So we could see out, so diners could see in.
I thanked him aloud a lot. Because after working for a bit in this godless industry, I knew.
I knew that nothing should be taken for granted. No one, nothing.
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I think I've spoiled my cooks. Especially my new ones. I give them all their schedule requests. I give them 2 days off in a row. I give them weekends off. Holidays. They get to take home food. They get paid for every hour they work. They get a great staff meal, more than a few times a day. They work 5 days a week. I'm in the kitchen, doing production alongside them, every day. I teach and support and answer questions and problem solve.
You could say they're just doing their job and I'm just doing mine.
And what's there to fucking complain about?
It's common manners they lack. Upper Management offered each and every one of them a gift for their Thanksgiving dinner and not a single one of them a. thanked management or b. took the gift.
I was mystefied. Stunned. Disappointed. Angry. Livid.
Ashamed.
Self-Entitled much?
The self deserving thing? The "I see you do all these things to accommodate me but I want more more more and no I won't say thank you or show my appreciation in any way"? Yeah, no. Yeah, no and fuck you very much.
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When you are ungrateful you disrespect your fellows, your parents, your kitchen, your support staff, your chef.
When you are ungrateful you disrespect yourself.
When you can't say "Thank You," outloud, for anything... Those gifts? That support? Those schedule requests? Those days off in a row? That list I let you pass off to someone else? That raise? That set schedule? Those holidays off? Yeah, they stop happening. poof! D i s a p p e a r.
Gratitude.
Put it in your attitude.
Right quick, yo.
Thank your train conductor for getting you home safe. Thank the cashier at the grocery store. Thank the dishwashers. Every fucking day, yo. Treat the dishwashers with the respect you think you deserve for once. Thank the cooks who make your staff meal. Thank your chef for taking the time with you. Thank the Sous Chefs because their job is thankless. Thank the architect for the high ceilings and the incandescent lightbulbs. Thank the service staff for selling your baked goods.
EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU DESERVE WHAT SOMEONE IS GIVING YOU, SAY THANK YOU ANYWAY.
{Esteemable acts build self respect.}
Thank you could go viral.
Say Thank You. Give it freely. Give it out a lot. Give it aloud. Shake people's hands, look them in the eye. These little old fashioned things? They mean the world. To even the most cynical, modern youth.
Give Thanks. And not merely on Thanksgiving. Believe me when I say a little goes a long long way on the road to earning respect in this industry: cooks do not get respect without earning it first.
Say Thank You and Mean It. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Thankful is a verb, an action. If you mean thank you then you act thank you then everyone feels your gratitude.
Gratitude.
Put it in your attitude.
Or at least think about what I've said.
If you're lucky, you'll be able to thank me later.
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